Guide To Sugar Daddies

Claudia C. is firstly a genius, secondly keeps it 100 and thirdly knows about sex. Follow her epic twitter @LiteralPorn and read her blog.

Maybe I’m jaded, but when I see a young attractive girl with an older man who obviously isn’t her father I assume they have an arrangement that involves him taking care of some of her bills and her touching his penis. I by no means am against these arrangements, I don’t give a shit about the argument over whether it’s prostitution or not (because I don’t think prostitution is inherently wrong,) I just care that the girls are reaping every benefit they can while they do this.

Firstly: If a man is significantly older than you he better be trickin’ which means ballin’ which means f***ing rich: those are the rules. Youth and beauty are social currency he lacks, that’s why he keeps you around, to bask in its glow and raise his social status and dick. Do not f*** with broke ass ain’t shit older men. Older dudes should come with a career, health insurance, 401K, real estate, stock portfolios, shit like that. If not for the perks, why be with a guy your dad’s age with old balls when you could be with a lean bodied twenty something with young balls.

In exchange for your company and cheeks he should be picking up every check. You should never pay for anything when you are with him, he should be helping you financially whether it’s a tuition bill or straight allowance. If the guy is a sugar daddy in the true sense he should be hooking up rent, car, tuition, and spending money, NOT just a f***ing phone bill.

Secondly: the ride ain’t gonna last forever so be prepared. A man who pays your rent, bills, tuition, and provides you with spending money has a lot of control over your life and your security is only as good as your female prowess. You aren’t a wife, you have no legal rights to the benefits he’s providing you. Put away some of the cash he gives you. If he gives you a credit card to shop buy things like electronics, fine jewelry, and expensive bags. Don’t buy clothes and shoes like a dumbass. Buy shit that can be cashed in when he gets sick of you and finds a new sugar baby or gets caught by his wife.

Thirdly: do not get attached. This is an arrangement. It shouldn’t be hard to not catch feelings. Guys who agree to these arrangements have both a scheduling and insecurity problem. Overworked, unhappily married, past their prime, and trained by their wives to think they’re only as good as the size of their salaries. Points to you if you can get him to catch feelings while you stay detached. If you can make that happen the ball is in your court.

Lastly: learn and network. You have at your disposal a successful older man, learn from him about anything he’s willing to teach you, listen to him when he talks business, politics, life. Sugar daddies make great references and resume credits. They’re also usually in a position to hook you up with internships and jobs. Use your sugar daddy and his network to your full advantage.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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