How to get rid of hickeys overnight
We’ve all been there. Blindly ambling to whatever the day holds for us with last night’s passion visibly positioned all over our necks, arms, and shoulder blades. You always hope that you’ll be the only person to notice your love bites, but sadly, you’re soon confronted by a friend, a co-worker, or your friendly neighborhood barista, who delicately slides your morning fix to you as she teasingly says, “Looks like somebody had fun last night.”
And that’s exactly what hickeys are: fun. Like my boyfriend’s manager says to him whenever he shows up with my indentations on his neck, “Looks like you got that good loving last night.” She couldn’t be more right.
But let’s be real, none of that takes away from the challenge of becoming an amateur magician overnight and figuring out how to make your hickeys disappear. Now that summer’s on the way and we can’t just resort to slapping on a turtleneck or a scarf and calling it a day, a girl’s gotta dig a little deep to find answers. So, like the self-respecting, hickey-loving woman I am, I called my boyfriend, and told him I had a once in a lifetime opportunity for him: I needed him to give me hickeys, for science, or at least for Galore.
According to the Internet, there are a lot of tricks that instantly get rid of hickeys, ranging from the super logical (icing your hickey), to the super gross (putting on a coat of tuna and olive oil and then heating it up with a hair dryer). After scrutinizing my options, I chose the 5 readily available (non-tuna involved) methods that should be available to you whether you’re in your own house or waking up in bed with bae and/or whatever his name is again:
Hickey #1: Massing
Since hickeys are just bruises and bruises are just a collection of broken capillaries and pooling blood (sexy, right?), a massage seems like the easiest fix in the book. By stimulating the area, you’re inviting the pooled blood to make like a banana and split, which should drain the color right out of your hickey. After about thirty minutes of cuddling with my boyfriend, I started massaging my hickey in two minute increments – one minute with my hands rubbing in one direction, and one in the other. Over the course of the night, I repeated this twice.
While there was still a bit of color in my hickey, the massing did help make it seem like just any other bruise, and after a layer of concealer, it looked completely innocuous.
Hickey #2: Toothpaste And Toothbrush
Who would have known, but apparently peppermint helps improve blood circulation and can even heal capillary vessels. While peppermint oil is more effective, any peppermint-based toothpaste (AKA just about every kind) will do. Simply apply some over your hickey, reach for your toothbrush, and brush your hickey for two minutes at a time. Just like massaging, rubbing a toothbrush over your hickey is just gonna encourage your blood to get moving, although it’s significantly more painful. I did this once before going to bed and once in the morning when I woke up and this is what the results looked like:
Most of the color was drained out and my hickey looked way smaller. Of course, concealer does help, but I could have told anybody that I got this mark from a shoulder strap and I guarantee they would have believed me.
Hickey #3: Aloe Vera
In addition to being a great, natural moisturizer, Aloe Vera also has anti-inflammatory and soothing properties which can not only help you get over that nasty sunburn you attained while tanning on your roof, but even assist with burst capillaries. I LIVE for my Infinite Aloe Moisturizer—plus if you don’t have any on hand, you can pick some up at Walgreens for only $3. I applied a little glob of aloe to my hickey three times in the night and once in the morning, and as you can see, while my hickey shrunk in size, the aloe wasn’t a miracle worker.
I love aloe, but it’s clearly better as a moisturizer than as a home hickey remedy.
Hickey #4: A Cold Metal Spoon
I’ll save you the trouble of reading a paragraph: the cold metal spoon trick DOES NOT WORK and anybody who tells you it does is a LIAR. Even after three applications in one night, my hickey looked exactly the same as it did when I got it. No amount of concealer could even help. Use your spoon for eating ice cream instead, kay?
VERDICT: ULTIMATE FAILURE
Hickey #5: The Triple Threat: Icing, Massaging and Concealer
Icing helps reduce bleeding, massaging helps get the blood that bled moving, and concealer just makes everything better. Put an ice cube or two inside of a plastic bag, a paper towel, or even that head scarf you wear at night and apply it atop your hickey for up to 15 minutes. Or, if you don’t have that kind of time, split it up. 5 minutes one time, 10 minutes the next – whatever works for you. After you’re done, massage your hickey for two minutes or longer. In the morning, wake up, dab on a thick layer of concealer, and be on your merry way. While this method certainly demands the most from you, it’s by far the most effective.
VERDICT: THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS