Can You Really Get Over Someone’s Past?
We judge because we simply don’t understand. It’s not until we learn the back story that we can gain acceptance of how a person became to be who they are now. Present day.
But I was having this conversation with a friend of mine the other day who was telling me about a girl he met and how he’s really taking a huge interest in her. I mean he even went to get tested for her. You never know if your love is a positive thing until you get tested, that’s for sure.
But there’s one flaw to his beautiful damsel in distress. She has a past.
Let’s just pause right there though. Many of us have a past, it’s what molded us into the people we presently are. Some of us just have a few more baggage than others. And some of that baggage is pretty f*cking heavy, missing some straps, or was passed down.
You usually end up dating the person you are with because they are the ones you are supposed to confide in and share your secrets with. Share your past, present, and future self with. But what if you allow them to know your past and they can’t accept it? Yes, I realize this is the whole foundation for trust and being able to trust that person enough to know that they won’t judge you. But realistically, their perception of you will change. Fact.
This was something I struggled with in my past relationship. Being able to open my whole self to someone who already had such a beautiful image of myself, if I allowed him to know the old me, that would all shatter. And I knew it would because of how he would judge others. From his close friends, his family, f*ck, even my close friends.
Sad to say we ended because of lack of communication. Or my lack to open up because I feared his opinion. And in some ways I’m happy because I now know that person isn’t walking around knowing all my deepest darkest secrets.
But it got me to thinking about how even if someone has a terrible past or made choices we could never relate to, the fact that they trust you enough to open up and expose themselves, raw and vulnerable, is the most flattering and genuine thing. They’re comfortable to come to you and admit their faults, yet strong enough to know that it was what it was and they do not associate with that part of their life anymore.
What’s beautiful is they want you to know, move past it, and grow forward with them.