Galore’s Guide to Feeling & Looking AMAZING!
Goodbye Fashion Week mania. It’s been real, but it’s been too goddamn long. I mean, that time during New York Fashion Week when I nearly fainted onto The Blonds catwalk due to “exhaustion” seems like aaages ago now. Good news: Paris Fashion Week just wrapped — SIGH! — which means it’s about that time to get those lungs/livers/bodies/souls out of their debilitating depression. I’m in a concerning super insanely great mood today, and it totally relates to what you’re about to read below. Go on and take my suggestions and join me in my perpetual dance party. You can RSVP to me directly at email@example.com. LOLz.
LUNGS HAVE FEELINGS TOO.
Okay. I’ve been what you’d call a “social smoker” since my first drink, which may or may not have taken place on a golf course and involved Gatorade bottles and breaking into daddy’s alcohol cabinet. Oh, how I long for those rebellious junior high days… It wasn’t until a debauched trip to Berlin last summer when I officially and unfortunately became a pack-a-day-er… and the ultimate cliche coffee-chugging, chain-smoking writer… :-/ My lungs have been angry with me ever since. That is until I puffed upon an NJOY e-cigarette. OMG you guys. These babies are hands down the best invention maybe ever. You’ve likely seen fashionistas giving ice cold stares whilst blowing out NJOY smoke vapors this past NYFW, so you’re in good hip company. BTW I’ve tried many an e-ciggie. Those chocolate or strawberry float or whatever the eff these other brands are pumping out of the factories are so gag-inducing, which is not a good look when you’re at the club. #TEAMNJOY Oh yeah, and, duh, you can smoke these at the club because, hi, there’s no tobacco smoke which means you won’t smell like an ashtray, which is always quite nice.
According to NJOY’s site: “It’s a premium electronic cigarette with the look, feel and flavor of the real thing, but without the tobacco smoke. Instead it emits a flavorful but odorless vapor. It provides everything you like about smoking without the things you don’t. No tobacco smoke or cigarette smell.” These are facts, kittens. My lungs have been celebrating ever since.
You can purchase the NJOY 3-pack for 26.97 right here, or just hit up your local bodega. Oh, and did I mention there’s an array of options? I obviously prefer the bolds. PS the packaging is so cute!!!!
LIVER ME ALONE
As for my liver. Well. It’s talking to me again, which is great news. And I have The Squeeze Juice to thank and make out with and, yes, squeeze. That’s how much I appreciate you guys and what you’ve done for my liver in addition to my once broken brain and shitty skin. Okay, so here’s the deal: the Squeeze is basically uh-mazing and my new religion. According to their site, The Squeeze is “a rolling ready pressed juice and living foods truck with a really big attitude about what’s GOOD FOR YOU!!!” Omg, I love the sassiness. If you can’t locate their magical truck, you can binge on healthiness via ordering from HERE. They have multiple cleanses, from the intense Main Squeeze ($59/a day including 6 juices and 2 boosters) to the Squeezewich ($75 per day), which, holy health!!, features actual solid food. Like the kind you chew. THAT’S MY KIND OF CLEANSE YOU GUYS. The food is SO YUM, by the way, and you can munch upon it without doing a cleanse too. Move over, Whole Foods. There’s something called the Moc n Cheese which involves quinoa yet is unfairly incredibly delicious and healthy. K, and do not even get me started on the dessert selection, like, you know, the chocolate cookie dough bon bons and cheesecake. *Faints*
When it comes to a cleanse post-Fashion Week(s) damage, I enthusiastically suggest The Steady Squeeze, which I did and continue to brag about. It consists of five really tasty fruit juices, a lemonade, a booster, and a raw milk. FYI The spiced milk literally changed my taste-buds’ lives and is really filling, so try that immediately. Also, I am obsessed with the quirky juice names which include “Two Hearts BEET As One” and “I have a HEART-On.” Good work, you guys. Oh, and tbh, I was TERRIFIED of giving up coffee and vodka, but I DID IT and felt incredibly zippy and overly happy which resulted in my friends asking if I was on anti-depressants. This is a really talented cleanse, you guys. Oh, and there’s this too: so, I went to the club the day after I completed the cleanse, and I can’t tell you how many cuties complimented the return of my cheekbones and asked for the secret behind my J-Lo-rivaling glow. In short, THANKS SO MUCH THE SQUEEZE. Call me?
INSTANT SKIN GRATIFICATION
Anytime I come across a beauty product with seriously lofty claims like “Oscar-Worthy Skin,” I am skeptical. But always intrigued. When I happened upon OROGOLD Cosmetics and their “24K Multi-Vitamin Night Nourishment,” all I really saw was the 24 karat gold bit. Like, whut? There’s gold up in a moisturizer? I’m all about trying to look like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, so I immediately bought then bathed my face in this creamy potion. Ok, actually, you only need a lil dab and then you lather it all over your face. Like 2 seconds later, I looked like Joseph. JK. But my skin is — sorry to brag — quite beautiful right now. This magical moisturizer, besides including pure 24 karat gold, is enriched with vitamins and antioxidants which result in way more than a healthy looking glow. Screw an iPhone or whatever, for only $178, you can pump down the street feeling like a multiple Oscar winner and/or supermodel. I’m seriously obsessed. Getcha fingers on this hydrating holiness over at oragoldcosmetics.com, and for other amazing products — like a $1,398.00 24K Deep Tissue Rejuvenation Mask, which I am sooo close to opening another credit card for, as well as a 24K Golden Body Scrub for only 58 bucks! Win/Win.
SEAL IT WITH A KISS
So my lips were seriously a worrisome wreck post-Fashion Week(s). And don’t even give me the side-eye for my many model make-out sessions. JK – I wish. But I am always trying to maintain a glossy lip, and I at last found the cure! Look no further than Supersmile Ultimate Lip Treatment. Yes, THAT Supersmile aka the #1 whitening toothpaste — they recently launched a brand new advanced lip care technology “for the ultimate smile care experience.” YES PLEASE. This stuff makes my lips feel like expensive silk and it tastes vanilla-y and delish. Oh, and there’s this: “Formulated with a proprietary and patented H5X® Replenishing Complex – clinically developed to exfoliate, hydrate, nourish, condition and restore in a delicious vanilla almond flavor.” Buy this brilliance which will make ya say goodbye to inflammation and prevent chapping AND will help minimize those gross wrinkle lines. AND THIS: it “boosts the production of collagen” (!!!) Again, yes please. Make those lips luxurious for only $24 on NeimanMarcus.com, Supersmilestore.com and at local retailers. You’re welcome.
HOW I REACHED NIRVANA WITHOUT MEDITATION
This one’s going to be really difficult for me to describe. In short, I reached Nirvana last Friday at the incredible AIRE Ancient Baths in Tribeca. I really want to move in. AIRE was inspired by co-founder Armano Prados’ experience growing up in an area in southern Spain where there were hundreds of public baths from the ninth to the fifteenth centuries — and thank the ancient bath Gods, he brought this magical world to NYC. More specifically, it’s a 16,000-square-foot space complete with like 3057205 amazing baths. JK. There’s four, and only 20 people are allowed at a time, so you’ll feel super VIP. The space is candelit and decked out in white marble and other amazingness imported from the South of Spain. SO GORGEOUS. And now onto the wonderful water world: There’s a 102 degrees bath. There’s a 46 degrees bath. My personal fave is the saltwater bath (the Roman alvea) which allows you to float on your back like a superhero. I also LOVED the tub with crazily comforting jets. Goodbye any and all muscle pain. Oh, and I sweated out many a toxin in the steam room which featured some lovely tingling essential oils. AND there’s heated marble benches (and complimentary tea) which made me very, very happy. You too can (see also: MUST) experience the two hour time slots of heaven. You can thank me later via booking me another session.
If you are more in the dying and going to heaven kind of mood, go ahead and add a massage or two! Or why not go for a thermal bath overflowing with red wine or cava?! YUM. You can also add an acoustic performance to that as well. I am not kidding. The prices are weirdly awesome, too. Book an appointment today. You won’t regret it. Promise.