Galore’s Alternative Guide to Fitness

If you, like me, really try to strive to be healthy (“try to strive” is very different than to “strive” FYI) then these are ways to get “in shape” that may work better for you. If you chose to try these methods (there’s only four), please don’t hold me responsible if you don’t lose any weight or have optimum health.

Eat Mexican food everyday
When I lived in California, I ate Mexican food constantly and somehow, according to comments from friends, I’d lost weight.

cartman

Go raving
Which is NOT the same as taking drugs. I don’t touch drugs and neither should you. However, partying till the sun comes up, telling people you love them, and drinking a shit ton of water is quintessential to you getting in shape the untraditional way.

tumblr_lhlm0rYqVY1qg39ewo1_500

Sex
Make a gym out of your bedroom- it’s open 24 hours.

tumblr_mcdmwdNBEF1qasd8x

Smoke cigarettes
Tobacco dulls your appetite so you won’t eat all that fast food fatty.

tumblr_n1xxt3HdbQ1seks7no1_400

Frankie Decaiza Hutchinson is the Online Editor at Galore Magazine. She specializes in slow jams, gold jewelry, fried chicken, and hating. Follow @FrankieFatGold

Gimme More Health

Do You Like?

Some things are only found on Facebook. Don't miss out.