8 Foods to Avoid if You Don’t Want to Feel Bloated
First dates can be awkward in so many wonderful ways. Maybe your Tinder date’s profile said he was 6’2″ but he looks closer to 5’2″. Perhaps your date forgot to make reservations and you’re both awkwardly standing clustered in the restaurant lobby among millions of people who actually know each other. One thing you absolutely do not need on an already awkward date is for your to feel gassy, bloated, or to run to the bathroom in the middle of him telling you about his summer trip to Thailand.
We talked to Erin MacDonald, RDN, of U Rock Girl, about which foods are known to cause bloating and gas. If you’re trying to keep yourself feeling thin in that new slip dress you’re wearing, and you don’t want to hit the bathroom more than once, avoid these foods on your next date.
1. Salad
Okay, who wants to be “that girl” that orders a salad on the first date anyway? You can let him know about your psycho gluten-free diary-free semi-vegan diet on the next date.
Use your date as a cheat day so that you can eat whatever the fuck you want (hey, it’s free) and also not feel bad about ordering three glasses of wine to lighten the mood. If you really want to stick to your diet, order cooked veggies instead. “The fiber is broken down [by cooking] so it’s easier on your digestive system,” explains Erin.
2. Beans
The whole “beans, beans, good for your heart…” song might end with “so eat your beans for every meal,” and that’s fine. You can eat beans for every meal except for this one. If he takes you to a cute little Mexican place, go for tacos instead of the burrito (particularly with chicken or fish). Unless, that is, you want to try to blame your Uber driver for the foul smell that occurs while you’re both riding home.
3. Onions
You may typically avoid this on dates for the sake of your breath, but onions also are known to increase gassiness. If you’re trying to avoid them, make sure to ask your server, because they sneak onions into so many fucking dishes at restaurants that you wouldn’t normally guess.
4. Garlic
I know that the pesto garlic pasta looks lit, but come back here another time with your girlfriends and get it then. You can pop in some gum to erase the garlic breath, but you won’t be able to reduce the bloat or gassiness quite as quickly.
5. Spicy Food
Remember that scene in Along Came Polly where Ben Stiller tries to be cool and eat Indian food but he ends up clogging Jennifer Aniston’s toilet? Yeah, don’t let that be you.
6. Broccoli
Great for your diet, but bad for your belly (in the short term, anyway).
7. Cauliflower
This probably isn’t the most common veggie to see on a menu, but maybe you’ll date some hipster vegan who takes you to a place that serves buffalo cauliflower bites or something. Either way, go for the tofu instead because cauliflower, like broccoli, causes bloating and gas.
8. Brussels Sprouts
Bacon brussels sprouts or whatever side dish you’re eyeing to share with your latest boy toy is tempting, but you might wanna skip out on it if you’re planning on getting frisky later. Go for the asparagus instead, which is actually bloat reducing.
