Falling In Love And Staying Levelheaded
Beginning new relationships is usually an exciting and overwhelming time. The honeymoon phase is rife with extensive amounts of time spent together, lots of childlike giggling, and maybe even some over-the-top declarations of love. When two people get together and start feeding off each other (maybe this isn’t the best metaphor for love…) and spending every waking moment with each other, it can be easy to get completely lost in feelings of adoration and affection.
It’s not a bad thing. Although here at Galore we like to talk about how we’re satisfied without being in a relationship, and maybe even prefer just the sex part of “being together,” we’ve all had meaningful relationships that were satisfying and healthy. If you’re in love with someone, that’s fine. Don’t let endless conversations about how being single is the best thing ever discourage you. What’s right is what is right for you. But you should be approaching your new relationship realistically, and with a level head. By that I mean, the rest of your life should not shutter to an abrupt stop even though all you want to do is cuddle up next to your new boo and stare at each other’s faces. And make out. And then stare at each other some more.
So how do you keep a level head while you’re in the honey moon phase?
1. Set boundaries
Sure, spending time together is amazing, but it’s still important to schedule yourself some alone time even while you are in the process of letting yourself fall deeply in love with someone else. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself during this period, and give yourself the space to reflect on the relationship. Being with your new significant other is amazing, but being alone is important because it allows you to keep up with your own life.
2. Don’t forget your friends
Speaking of your own life—you may have become so wrapped up in whatever mind-blowing sex you’re currently having, and the Netflix marathons that punctuate these sex sessions, but completely shutting out everyone else in your life isn’t healthy. Set aside some time to maintain your relationships with your support network outside of your romantic relationships.
3. Don’t get ahead of yourself
Yes, this person may seem absolutely perfect right now. But the two of you haven’t had a lot of time together yet to test all the “relationship” waters, so to speak. Getting in fights might be unpleasant, but how the two of you handle arguments will be a good indicator of the health of your relationship and how compatible you are. It’s important to wait and see how your relationships withstands conflict or stressful situations before you commit to huge decisions, like moving in with each other or booking that expensive vacation together.
4. Spend some time together with each other’s friends
This is a good way to attend to number 2 on this list without having to detach yourself from your significant other, if you simply can’t handle doing that right now. Introducing each other to your respective squads will allow you two to incorporate each other into your social worlds; you can hang out with each other, but also be around other people and the people you both care about. It’s important that your romantic relationships aren’t completely isolated from your normal social life. Your relationship should be an aspect of your life, not your entire life!
5. Make sure you’re both on the same page
This is essential. I’ve heard stories from friends of mine who have started “dating” people and enjoying the honeymoon phase only to find out—two months in—that the person they were seeing is just super affectionate and not actually looking to be in a committed relationship. In these cases, you may want to consider an open relationship. If that doesn’t work for you, and you’re completely caught off guard, you might really feel upset or hurt, and rightfully so. Conversations about the nature of your relationship should be had explicitly and verbally before you get into too deep. If the person you’re seeing isn’t willing to clarify, stop, drop, and roll the f*ck out of there.
We’ve all enjoyed the honeymoon phase of relationships. They often seem like they’ll never end, but inevitably they do, so it’s important that you’ve built a foundation based on mutual respect, realistic and verbalized expectations, and healthy support networks outside of your romantic partnership. In order to make sure all of these things are in place post-honeymoon, stay level headed while you’re in the “falling in love” phase. Doing so will make it that much easier and enjoyable to stay in love.