[Updated] Everything you need to know about the healthcare bill right now

Update: Good news! The Senate rejected the Repblucian’s healthcare bill!  You’re safe! Planned Parenthood is safe! I mean, realistically this isn’t the last we’ve heard of this repeal and replace nonsense, but you can probably cancel all those last minute doctor’s visit you scheduled last week.


Well, the good news is that your health care is safe for now. But the bad news is we’re not out of the black yet.

On Tuesday, the vice president who calls his wife “mother,” Mike Pence, cast a tie-breaking vote so the Senate could start debating about how and if they were going to repeal and replace Obamacare.

In a press conference Donald Trump said he was “very, very happy with the result” even though “we had two Republicans that went against us, which is very sad, I think. It’s very, very sad for them.”

Debatable, Donald!

But on Tuesday the Senate voted against the proposed Better Care Reconciliation Act in a vote of 43-57. 9 Republican senators voted against the proposed bill, including senator Susan Collins, who was caught rightly calling a gross male senator ugly yesterday.

READ ALSO: This sauvage senator called a male senator ugly on a hot mic

The main issue was with an addendum drafted by failed presidential candidate Ted Cruz. Called the Consumer Freedom Option, the amendment would allow insurers to sell cheaper and shittier health care plans so long as they had at least one plan on their books that offered the same benefits as Obamacare.

But even this Republican senator from Texas couldn’t help but see there was a big problem with this plan. On Monday he told reporters that the amendment needed to be changed because if not “younger healthy people pick the cheaper policy, leaving older, sicker people on the other policy, which would have to be subsidized dramatically in order to make it affordable.”

Which, fucking duh, that’s how health insurance works.

And you know how Republicans feel about the government subsidizing things.

But the debate isn’t over yet. The Senate will continue talking over repeal and replacement proposals today, and likely for the foreseeable future.

Don’t worry, we’ll keep you updated the next time something important happens.

READ ALSO: Ivanka Trump says she “stays out of politics” so now no one knows wtf she does

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