Dudes Dish: What Should You Do When He Has Whiskey Dick?

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Whether we like it or not, our sex lives never seem to quite measure up to the seamless orgasms depicted in 50 Shades of Grey or the graceful thrusting of Sex and The City. Unfortunately, sometimes we encounter awkward situations in the bedroom. Whether it’s an unwarranted queef or an unexpected visitor, there is only so much damage control you can do after certain boner-killers. So, what do you do when your partner can’t seem to get it up as much as you’d like him to? Do you ignore it? Ask him what the f*** is up? Stop doing that thing with your tongue? We polled 100 guys and this is what we found:

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The first big thing you ask yourself when he starts going a little soft is if he wants you to acknowledge it. Most of us girls probably assume that he doesn’t want us to say anything. This is probably due to the fact that when we do something embarrassing in bed, we don’t really want him to say anything. However, the men seemed to be split on this issue. After separately talking to a few of the guys, it seemed that their preference on whether or not you should acknowledge his lack of hardness depends on your relationship, which completely makes sense. Just like if you’re dating a dude and you haven’t shaved in a week, he can make a joke about it. But if it’s a random hook-up from the club? You’d rather him pretend he didn’t notice.

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This probably isn’t too big of a shock to us. What dude doesn’t like getting his dick sucked? And we all know it’s usually the quickest way to get a guy hard (as long as you’re doing it right). In terms of the guys that chose “other,” most concluded that all of the above choices were equally good options depending on the situation. Some guys said that you could make a joke about it (if it was whiskey dick) saying something like, “did somebody drink too much?” In terms of what not to do? Don’t ask him when he’s going to cum. And we can understand why. If a guy asked us when we’re going to cum we’d be kind of peeved too…

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Again, not surprising that drinking too much is the #1 culprit for a soft wang. Coming in second, “other” was a combination of dudes bragging that they’ve never gone soft (woop-de-doo), blaming other drugs (like adderall) for the problem, and attributing it to performance anxiety. Performance anxiety was certainly the most common response in the “other” answer choice, so give these dudes a break! Also, give yourself a break, because although you probably blame yourself immediately as you realize he’s not hard as rock, it usually isn’t something you’re doing that causes it.

The bottom line is that guys aren’t perfect (duh?), and although they’re supposed to be horny 24/7, sometimes their bodies can’t keep up. Instead of blaming yourself, realize that you’ve probably had those times where the sex is really good…but you still can’t manage to climax. If it’s a recurring problem with your dude, don’t be afraid to bring it up. However, don’t bring it up in the heat of the moment (unless you want to kill his boner even further), and try to approach the topic lightly. Remember, the only thing more fragile than a guy’s balls is his ego.

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