Drake Released a Mixtape, and I’m Pulling Back

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Weird things happened overnight—I woke up from a pathetic dream that the boy I like had texted me, and Drake dropped a new 17-song mixtape. I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time he had contacted me. I also had no idea what Drake was talking about when he referred to the “6” throughout his iTunes exclusive album.

I called my friend. “I think you’ve got to employ a pull-back,” she said. I told her I didn’t know when my contact with this guy had transitioned from animated, daily conversations to short uninvolved responses and minimal interest in my life. The “pull-back” move is classic: stop all contact on your end until he starts to care again.

“What do you think his deal is?” I asked her, but we both knew it didn’t matter. I don’t know why people care more when they think you don’t, but they do. I’d like to imagine that I care less when people don’t contact me, but it’s not true either.

So I’m pulling back. I’ve deleted his number—very necessary. If and when he contacts me, I’ll respond with civil nonchalance. There’s no need for him to know that I’m listening to “Best I Ever Had” on repeat and wondering if he’d describe me that way. I listened to the new mixtape today and told myself I’d focus on my career. I want to be young making millions to work a night shift!

I thought about sending him a song from Drake’s Take Care album. We had listened to Take Care together often, back when he cared that I existed. I know the real struggle will come when I’m drunk. When I’m drunk, all bets are off.

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