Downstairs Problems: What We All Go Through And How To Deal With It
Being a female presents many opportunities, whether it’s getting free drinks at the bar or getting out of gym class because of “period cramps.” However, with this all-powerful mother nature we’re each bestowed with, we have some of our own problems that don’t revolve around itchy balls or inopportune boners.
Some of these problems can be embarrassing, worrisome, or even a little gross, but here at Galore we’re all about power to the muffin and helping you get all the rewards of your lady parts without the hassle.
1. Your Period
This is the obvious one, that unless you’re post menopausal or on a really awesome birth control, you have to deal with as well. Once you get over the whole middle school trauma of having to wear diaper-like pads and switch to tampons, your period isn’t the hugest deal unless you have a really heavy flow, cramps, or it just comes at the most inopportune moments (i.e. when you’re long distance boyfriend is scheduled to visit). For most period related issues, just pop a Midol and call it a day. If you’re worried about your tampon string hanging out of your barely there skirt or bikini? Usually if you casually place that string up your ass-crack (lovely, I know) it stays there. For trying to bang on your period? It’s really not the bloodbath you’re imagining it to be, check out our other article here.
2. Something Fishy
Sometimes, we can smell ourselves, and it is not pretty. The cause of this could be our period (see above) or it could also be those leather shorts you’ve been wearing or the constant banging you’ve been having. Although your first instinct may be to spray down there with as much Chanel No.5 as possible or have an extra thorough scrubbing sesh in the shower, this can actually make it smell worse by disturbing your bodies natural system. Usually if you just let your coochie sort out it’s stickiness down there, it’ll pass. If you’re worried about your dude catching a whiff? Just remember that time you went down on him after his gym sesh… here’s to revenge!
3. Pregnancy Scares
If you’ve never had one, either you’re EXTREMELY relaxed or you’re a virgin. I’m pretty sure every girl has had a mini freak out at some point, whether she got her period one day late or she mistakenly had a drunken hook-up sans protection. Lucky for us, 99% of the time it is just us being typical girls and imagining the worst possible. But, regardless, you should always be making a guy wear a condom unless you guys are in an exclusive relationship, because STDs are a lot scarier than a little pregnancy worry. If you need to buy Plan B, make it a one time thing and learn your lesson, if you need to take a pregnancy test to alleviate your fears? Go right ahead, they sell them at the dollar store.
4. Ingrown Hairs
While most of us are trying to keep our lady bits baby-soft, this tends to never turn out the way we imagined- especially if we’re constantly shaving to keep ourselves hairless. Instead, we end up with razor burn, uncomfortable itchiness, or the dreaded ingrown hairs. I had one extremely unruly ingrown hair that would not go away for months, I even asked my doctor about it and she said to just wait. I was worried guys would notice and think it was some type of Herpes sore, but of course, I was giving boys too much credit to think that they’re actually thinking of anything other than getting their own nut and none of my boy toys ever mentioned it.
5. Yeast Infections/ UTIs
These are really so unnecessary, like c’mon, we already get our periods why do we need these too? As someone who manages to get a UTI every time I don’t pee post-hookup, I can assure you that they are equally as annoying every single time. Your best bet is to trust your gut, if you feel like you’re having a little too much of a need to pee, it’s probably a UTI and you should call your doctor ASAP so that you can get rid of it as soon as possible. When it comes to yeast infections, these can be avoided by not wearing wet bikinis for a long time and/or tight clothes. However, we all get drunk and spend a little too much time in the hot tub sometimes, so when you do get a dreaded yeast infection you have two options: 1. You can get the quick fix from your local drugstore which leaves you awkwardly inserting capsules into your (but does work eventually), or you can call your doctor and get a one time pill.
Regardless of the lady problems you have to deal with down there, there is ALWAYS a solution. Use your power for good, not evil! (Well… maybe a little evil..)