Don’t Ever Put Him First

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Dating is extremely tricky. There are no guidelines, no rules and everything goes out the door the moment you enter a relationship (clothes included).

But the beginning stage is most definitely a mind f*ck and the closest you’ll ever get to experiencing what it’s like to be stuck in limbo. It’s like waiting in the DMV- it takes forever, you need a shit ton of patience, and occasionally you question giving up and trying again later.

And I know we are an impatient generation with a severe ADD problem where we want things now and fast and if we don’t get that then we move on.

Which is f*cking our mindset for dating.

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I was talking to a friend the other day who is currently stuck in the “talking” stage. You know, the back and forth texts of asking how the other person is doing and casually making plans to hang out, stage.

And everyone has a tough time during this period. Do you text him first? Is it too much to text everyday? How long should you make him wait before you respond? If you add emojis does it make you seem like you’re overly excited to text him or care too much?

And the list goes on.

But she was telling me how she’s unsure about his motives. She’s not sure if she’s fading into a hook-up buddy role or potential girlfriend. And not only that but, she’s overanalyzing every single text.

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This is toxic for anyone. And we all do it. But it got me thinking how obsessed we can become with reading into texts way too much. I mean since when did texting rule the dating world? It literally has the power to make or break a relationship.

Oh, he texted you the letter “k”? He’s obviously uninterested. He waited 4 hours to hit you back? He’s f*cking another girl.

Of course those are just examples of conclusions us girls jump to when trying to decode a dude via text. But my point is that we need to stop decoding. Who the f*ck cares if it has been 3 days since he last texted you?

We’re giving men and phones an obscene amount of power and control over our emotions, life and energy. And neglecting ourselves in the process.

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Instead of spending time worrying about a new dude and his thoughts and motives, we need to continue to focus on us. He wants to text you to hang out? Cool. He wants to text you and ask how you are? Awesome.

Because being busy is sexy as f*ck. Channeling your energy on the goals you wish to accomplish and putting yourself first is extremely crucial. And not to mention rewarding. Guys don’t want girls who are waiting for them to make moves. Guys want girls who are making their own f*cking moves.

And yes, we say we want a guy to text us good morning or everyday or check in on us, but we really don’t. Because when we have a dude who does that it’s annoying and clingy and makes us feel as if he has no life. It’s a turn off.

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I mean sure it would be nice to have a dude in your life who is consistent with his texts and calls and doesn’t go MIA sometimes, but we really shouldn’t stress over it. Getting what you want out of life is a hundred times better than racking your brain with doubt and speculations about a guy.

So switch positions ladies. Drop the phone. Ditch your worries. Stop trying to figure him out and figure yourself out.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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