Ditch Your Toxic Friendship
Break ups are hard, but friend break ups are some how even worse. Like any other relationship, friendships can and sometimes need to end, but unlike their romantic counterparts, we don’t always give friend break ups the space they deserve. It might not always seem clear that you need to sever ties with a friend the way it often does in romantic relationships, but it’s important to let go of toxic friendships nonetheless. Here’s the low down on when and how to ditch your toxic friend.
Know When Your Friendship Is Toxic
While no red flag list is ever exhaustive, if your friendship is becoming draining, exhausting, one sided, or highly demanding, it may be time to end things. Toxic friendships lack reciprocity– a key component to any healthy relationship. You may feel like you are doing all the work of keeping things going. Alternatively, you may have reservations about your friend based on past instances where they have done something to hurt you, and so you find yourself avoiding your friend as much as possible. In either of these instances, it’s unfair to yourself to try and maintain a friendship that just isn’t working anymore.
Let Your Friend Know It’s Over
It’s probably best to give your soon to be ex-friend the honest truth about why you don’t want to be friends anymore. This allows the two of you to have closure and doesn’t leave any room for speculation, or perhaps, hurtful rumors to spread about why the two of you aren’t friends anymore. I’ve always found that being up front about my discontents in any relationship– platonic or romantic– has allowed for me to walk away in the best shape possible. Your reasons may be difficult to explain, and you may feel bad about ending the relationship, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to set boundaries.
Give Yourself Space
Just like a break up with a significant other, friend break ups can leave you feeling upset and heartbroken, even if you’re the one who decided to end the friendship. Remind yourself what positive friendship looks like by reaching out for support from your friends who aren’t toxic. If you see your ex-friend in public try to keep things cordial and polite but stay firm about your boundaries– this person is no longer in your life because things were not working. Trust the decision you made.
Always remember that friendships shouldn’t hurt. Friends should lift you up and support you. If a friendship in your life has constantly been making you feel bad about yourself, don’t be afraid to end the relationship. Ditch your toxic friends, and keep moving.