Craigslist Missed Connections Is the New/Old/More Promising Tinder
Tinder has been the scapegoat du jour for why so many people, millennials and otherwise, just can’t seem to find anyone who is willing to be their actual boyfriend or girlfriend. Despite being a dating app, so many users complain that they feel obligated to use the app in order to find someone to interact with in a semi romantic way (we can’t safely call it ‘dating’ anymore, because, well, see the first sentence) only to have their expectations of romance shattered after a few casual but not so great hook ups.
Sound familiar? Are you bemoaning your love life and trolling the trenches of the internet apps to find real life companionship that you’ve been missing since your senior year in high school when you thought you were going to marry your prom date?
Although traditionally, the advice I would give people in this situation would be simply to hop off the dating apps and start looking for romantic partners in people who actually have some sort of tenable connection to the places, people, and things you care about, there is always something that may seem a little more appealing to those of you in search of modern love.
Before there was tinder, there was a method of find someone via the internet 2.0. Rather than using an app to sift through the photos of potential disaster after potential disaster, why not return to the OG dating tool on the web? Craigslist. Sure, it doesn’t have any of the shiny features that Tinder provides, like displaying your potential suitor’s name and identity, and you don’t get to see what their face looks like before you invest time into them, but what Craigslist lacks in shiny features, it makes up for in variety, mystery, and pure and undiluted hope (or is it desperation?) that fate itself will turn a missed connections ad into a love story for the ages.
Don’t believe me? Take a look at this recent Missed Connections post:
“Posting here is pretty much admitting defeat, but oh well.
We were on the Brooklyn-bound N last night, pretty much the whole way.
As far as I knew, we never made eye contact, although I was glancing at you from time to time.
During the end of the ride, it was pretty much just you and I. I had headphones in and was in my own zone when all of the sudden you got my attention and asked whether I attended Brooklyn College because I looked familiar.
We made some small talk and eventually ascertained that you were getting off at the next stop. I thought that that was that because nothing else suggested otherwise, when all of the sudden as the train was pulling into the train station you said “Do you want my number?!” I didn’t know what I did to deserve it so I was flustered and incapable of efficiently taking your number down. Needless to say I didn’t get it (not all of it at least)
All I know is your name phonetically, that you grew up in Philly, and that you attend Brooklyn College.
That’s usually enough detail to have the internet do the rest, but not this time.
I imagine this will be futile, so I will leave some suggestions to myself(and others) in hindsight:
1) Get off the stop with her;
2) Have a business card ready;
3) Don’t be flustered.
Either way, you were really cute and I still have questions, damn it!”
Okay, okay, so what if you’re not the girl on the Brooklyn Bound N Train from the evening of September 27th? Just because you aren’t the person being described in a missed connection doesn’t mean you can’t ascertain the level of “quirky-alone-and-desperate” romantic that the person posting is. Why not reach out and capitalize on that hope, faith, and desperation? These are the type of people who still believe in “love” if they are willing to pour out their hearts on an overwhelmingly undervisited corner of the internet “just in case”. This is literally the hopeless romantic type that all of you chronically single and unhappy people are itching for.
Does that sound like the type of guy who is going to fuck around with you for a few weeks and then give you and STD before waltzing his way out of your life permanently? No. It sounds like the type of guy who believes that fate just might bring him the girl who he met on the N train, or alternatively, someone of equal, nay, better match for him. Someone who believes in the power of chance and love just as much as he does. Someone who uses Craigslist Missed Connections to meet their next significant other. Someone…like you.
So why not try it? And to get you in the missed connections mood, here’s a playlist I made inspired by that feeling of “Will I ever see that stranger who I could possibly fall in love with” again.