A Conversation About Amy Schumer’s ‘Oversharing’ Boyfriend

When it comes to Amy Schumer and her boyfriend Ben Hanisch, there’s a general consensus that they’re completely adorable and maybe the cutest couple ever. Just ask Nylon, New York Magazine, The Huffington Post, Perez Hilton, etc.

Somehow, at Galore we didn’t get the memo. 

This morning, while figuring out what article I was going to write next, my editor and I had an in-depth conversation about Amy and Ben’s relationship. At first, we were mutually annoyed by their mushy, oversharing tendencies. But then we realized: it’s possible that we’re just victims of the patriarchy here.

Allow us to explain.

MOLLY: Amy Schumer and her boyfriend are a liiiiiiiiitle annoying I gotta say!

Nothing I hate more than saying bye to this human..

A photo posted by benhanisch (@benhanisch) on

MARIA: Oh yeah, I’m not into it. 

MOLLY: It seems SO forced.

MARIA: Forced, or he’s just the kind of guy who’s a chronic oversharer.  Going through his Instagram, before they started dating, he just used to post pictures of landscapes and now every other photo is of them, and most of them are captioned with an ‘i love you‘ or ‘she’s so gorgeous.’ He seems like he didn’t have that much of a life before they started dating, besides his job designing furniture.  

MOLLY: He’s thirsty. But isn’t that cool and empowering? He’s the Karrueche Tran of their relationship. He’s less commercially successful than his girlfriend and she’s putting him on the map — you never see it working that way. Usually, it’s famous guys who are pulling up girls who aren’t in the spotlight yet.

It’s not for me because I’d never want to date a guy who was that much less on-the-map than me, but it’s cool. Famous women don’t usually date non-famous guys.

MARIAYeah, it’s way more common for it to work the other way around. Denzel, Christian Bale, Matt Damon, Seth Rogen and all these really high powered men do it all the time, but there’s only a handful of women who do it. I know there’s Natalie Portman, Tina Fey, Scarlett Johannson, Meryl Streep, and probably a handful of others, but it’s not as common of a thing.

MOLLY: So how does all this relate to our urge to paint him as an “over-sharer”? Clearly we think it’s something that’s mostly the domain of women on social media. Usually, it’s girls who are posting mushy photos of them with their boyfriends and not the other way around. Why does it seem so gendered — and why does it bother us?

MARIA: Yeah, I think that’s a really important question. I remember this one episode of Sex and The City called “The Ick Factor,” and the whole episode revolves around this guy Carrie’s dating who keeps on doing all these romantic gestures like asking her to dance with him on the street just because. It actually makes her uncomfortable because she can’t get over how corny it seems since most/all of the guys she’s dated don’t do that kind of stuff. 

But I like the idea that there are still a handful of genuinely romantic guys left in the world who just want to show the world how stoked they are to be with you — like Amy’s boyfriend.

MOLLY: Yeah, maybe he’s just excited! But when your boyfriend posts something mushy about you online, don’t you always freak out for a second? Then you realize he’s being cute and you’re like, ‘What’s wrong with me? This is adorable.’

MARIA: It’s also somehow so different when a guy does it then when a girl does it. Like if a girl is doing it, she’s just trying to rub it in our faces. If a guy is doing it, he’s somehow desperate.

MOLLY: Right, which is so sexist of us! We think men are supposed to be stoic and not care and not gush about their girlfriends online. And we expect girls to gush about their boyfriends. We’re really looking at this through stereotypes that have been built up over centuries of patriarchy. As usual.

MARIA: And it’s not fair to men or women. We expect men to be romantic, but then when they post to Facebook about being romantic, we cringe.

MOLLY: Right. And when we watch girls express excitement about romance, we read it as bragging.

But most importantly, we’re the assholes in this situation for caring at all what Amy Schumer’s boyfriend — or anyone else on social media — does.

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