Confessions of a Serial Dater: Will I Ever Get Laid?

It’s been over two months since I’ve had sex.

Yep, I said it, and it’s true. Instead of hopping around from country to country (and dick to dick) I’ve been lacking some serious vitamin D. With all the dating I’ve been doing, this might come as a shock. I mean, let’s be real, it’s not hard for a girl to have sex…especially when you’re going on as many dates as I am. I’ve been getting free drinks, free food, and cute company, but no sex.

So why am I not on top and reaching orgasm while some guy dirty talks me with his British accent?

I wish I knew. How is it that I choose to have sex with idiot college guys whose idea of chivalry is buying me a two dollar vodka-water, yet when I’m presented with actual worthy men I’m not interested? Is this what dudes mean when they say “nice guys finish last?” Or am I just a complete moron?

In reflection, I think it has something to do with comfort. Maybe the guys I invite into my bed are sh*t-heads, but at least they are sh*t-heads who I know reasonably well. I’m obviously no stranger to constant horniness, but something about sex with guys I hardly know doesn’t get me off.

Plus, I think I’ve become jaded with the whole dating app world. While the idea of having a plethora of beautiful men at your fingertips (literally) is amazing, the pressure of it weirds me out. Like, you’re meeting someone for the first time and hoping that you’ll like them and want to bone them. When you meet someone with no expectations/hopes, it’s a lot easier to naturally fall into bed with them. But when I’m going out on a date already knowing that the guy “swiped right,” it’s already in my mind that he probably wants to bang. Not that most guys don’t want to bang anything that has a vagina, but still.

Have I accepted defeat in my abroad sexual endeavors? No, not yet. But something tells me I’m not going to find an eligible sexual partner in the next few weeks. While my friends are wondering if I’ve lost my mind when I tell them that I haven’t had a single sexual experience while abroad, I think I’m doing just fine. After all, there’s more to exploring other countries than sampling their local men, right?


Gimme More Sex + Dating

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