To Catch Feelings Or Nah?
Shakespeare once said, “To be, or not to be.” But our generation has replaced his question with, “To catch feelings, or nah?” Because in today’s world, the only thing more guarded than our phone is our heart.
Sure, we’re open to the idea of a relationship and we’ll always try one out. You know, as if we’re just going for a test drive at a dealership. We’re not sure if we’ll actually buy the car, we just want to see how we look with it, take it for a spin around the block, etc.
Which is actually the feelings stage of a relationship. Or the what-the-f*ck-do-I-do-from-here, stage. You start to invest feelings with someone, profoundly genuine feelings, but you come to the point where you have to decide if you’re going to turn that person into your latest hook-up buddy victim or actually pursue something real.
And yes this is a tricky thing to do these days because it’s hard to say who has more authority over which direction the relationship will lead into. Men or women? Who initiates it first? Is this done over dinner? Can I phone a friend? Does Regis Philbin get to narrate the scene?
The feelings stage has as many questions as the kid in your math class did. Or maybe you were that kid in math class. It’s okay, I didn’t understand a damn thing during math either.
But relationships aren’t like they used to be. When you would once burst into song with your lover (I hate the word lover) like Liesel in The Sound Of Music and profess your feelings etc. Now, it’s like going swimming. We shyly dip our big toe in the water to test it out.
“Oh f*ck this sh*t. Way too cold. I’m just going to try to tan and check everyone out under my sunglasses.”
Or, “This isn’t so bad. I can ease into it until I’m all in.”
But we never f*cking jump right in or belly flop unless we’re drunk and Tequila says it’s okay. But that’s how you drown and the relationship turns to sh*t.
Because we’re scared. And it’s okay. As much as we’re a society that has mastered the art of putting up fronts, we’re pretty scared underneath it all. Careers, school and hands down, the opposite sex, are terrifying subjects.
I mean, you can tell someone you like them, but they can take it as a casual thing. It has the same effect as telling someone you bought new kitchen utensils. It’s nice, but who the hell cares? Unless You’re Martha Stewart.
Even though you probably want to lift your crush up by their collar and yell at them because saying you like someone is actually a big f*cking deal. But maybe we already know this. Maybe we already understand that someone telling us they like us is a big step. But by acknowledging this then it means we have to act.
As opposed to acting as if it never happened or we didn’t hear anything. Which means we don’t have to make a decision and can continue to casually see this person if we wish. Late nights only or during the day as well.
But for most of us, it’s hard to decide whether or not someone is worth pursuing. For some reason we’re perfectly capable of making bets on games, gambling away our money at casinos, making risky moves in our careers, but we can’t seem to bet on people. Especially the ones we catch feelings for.
Of course the stakes are always much higher when dealing with your heart and feelings, but are we also starting to think that the reward is not always worth it?