You Can Now Buy Your Guy Edible Chocolate Butts for Valentine’s Day

It seems that just months ago, we went over why you shouldn’t give your boo anal sex for Christmas. Now Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching, and it seems that you’re going to have to quickly brainstorm for another boyfriend-approved gift in a couple of weeks.

Anal might be tempting — you don’t even have to wrap it! — but there’s actually a better option: a chocolate molded butthole.

A company appropriately called Edible Anus will fulfill your asshole-related Valentine’s Day needs with its box of anal chocolates. Priced at $38.95 for a pack of five, I’m sure you can think of at least five of your friends, lovers, or ex-lovers that will enjoy this thoughtful gift.

That asshole guy that ghosted you deserves an edible anus. Your current boo thang who’s a self-proclaimed “butt dude” deserves an edible anus. Your shitty professor that won’t raise your grade from a B- to a B deserves an edible anus. Honestly, the possibilities are endless.

But, if you prefer something with more longevity and luxury, you can also purchase a non-edible anus.

In fact, for the price of $1,900, Edible Anus will gladly cast your asshole in bronze and turn it into a lovely little piece of artwork. Perhaps a paper weight for your hubby’s desk? Perhaps something to smash through your ex’s car windows? It really depends what you’re going for here.

If you need some reassurance, just check out this chick who got her asshole cast for a bronze mold. Looks fun, right?

Regardless of if you’re eyeing up the bronze anus or the edible anus, 2015 was surely the year of the ass. Why not commemorate it with an equally booty-licious box of chocolates?

Photos courtesy of Edible Anus

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