Brief History Of Why People Hate Kim Kardashian, And Why I Don’t
This is an open letter to anyone that has ever hated on my girl, Kim Kardashian. I seriously cannot be bothered by the almost-decade of backlash this woman has had to endure and honestly, it’s getting so old. The only thing bigger than Kim Kardashian’s ass is the negative hype this bish has generated over the years. I could do without everyone frying over this woman as if any of it is news. Here’s a timeline documenting Kim K’s rise to fame and the idiotic angry mob that seems to be watching her every move.
Alright look. No one even knew who Kim Kardashian was when this tape came out so who’s trippin’? Yes, the woman was in a raunchy video but like, who was looking at that chica going “Oh yes, this one is definitely the next Dame Judi Dench.” Come on. Giving an up and coming reality TV star a hard time for making a sex tape is so lame you guys, let her live. Also is no one going to comment on the fact that Ray J is absolutely insane in this movie and also films footage like a literal third grader? We’re done here.
Ok so then in 2007 Ryan Seacrest was like “Wait. The girl who boned Ray J is hot and her family is insane, I want to turn them into a TV show.” And voila, “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” was born. I’m going to be honest, this show is my crack and all I want to do is put down but the pipe but honestly I can’t. There is nothing more hellish than watching this family live their lives, but I live for Kris Jenner’s heinousness, Bruce’s complete disinterest, and Kim’s crying face. I really, really do. Yes this show will fry your brain but like, there are worse things on TV so go hate on someone else. Like the Shahs of Sunset.
Wedding From Hell
Ok fine, the televised wedding to Kris Humphries was out of control ridiculous. I could have told you that this neanderthal wouldn’t last long in the Kardashian family but whatever. As insane as this multimillion dollar wedding was though, I still don’t get the intense hate. Hi, if you hate Kim Kardashian then WHY are you watching her goddam wedding on TV? Hello? If this is too much for you to bear, play an NPR/Mozart mashup in your sleep in hopes that you’ll regain some brain cells.
Oh my god, yes. This is probably my favorite Kim Kardashian era to date. The fact that my favorite rapper and favorite reality TV star are a thing now, I’m so down. But I guess many of you are disgusted by this heavenly couple so we’re done here. The amount of backlash that Kimye received is still making my eyes roll like no other. And the Vogue cover? Wow, people were pissed. Apparently Sarah Michelle Gellar threatened to cancel her Vogue subscription because of this cover. Ugh sit down Buffy, you’re just jealous. You were in a movie about Scooby Doo so literally do you mind? If that’s all it takes for you to cancel a subscription then cancel away and take your filth elsewhere.
Whether you want to admit it or not, Kim Kardashian has accidentally become one of the most important people of the decade. She rode the socialite/sex tape wave and then turned around and made it a TV show. She is a vital piece in the pop culture Jenga game, and without her and her gigantic ass, everything we know would probably crumble and we would have to find another rich bitch to blubber about. Kim Kardashian never promised us any intellectual banter or Pulitzer-prize winning work. She promises heavily made-up entertainment. And she delivers. So put your pitchforks down and really think about why you’re letting a pop culture figure that is 50 degrees away from you piss you off this much. There’s a 90% chance that she’s on a yacht in St/ Tropez rocking a string bikini and not thinking about you.
Rula Al-Nasrawi is a Columbia Graduate whose writing has appeared in Vice, The Atlantic, and other online publications. Her first language is valley girl. Californian bred, NYC residing. @RulaOfTheWorld