In case you haven’t noticed, sometimes we cannot figure out what the eff guys are thinking. So we grabbed Brandon Wardell, comedian and self-proclaimed expert on the dating habits of millenials, to help us out. We talk Disney movie romances, why rap might ruin your relationship, and finally we have an answer to the question “why do dudes think it’s okay to hit on randoms on the sidewalk?” This interview might help you understand guys better, or it might just confuse you even more…
Lots of girls say Disney gave them false expectations about love. What gave you false expectations about love?
Rap music made me feel like it’s cool to f!ck someone else’s girlfriend. I never did that though. I wouldn’t now either, since I’m wifed up. But if I was single and on tour, I might be like “hey cool, I’m like a rapper. Dang,” even though I would be lowkey ruining a relationship.
Is Tinder a do or a don’t?
Don’t. I used to use it when I was single, stopped once i was in a relationship, and then in-between that relationship and my current one, I tried it again. It was so depressing. Tinder is sad as fuuuuuuuuck. Literally, the act of swiping bums me out. But also, I met my first girlfriend because she was my roommate, and my current girlfriend because I was a guest on her podcast, so none of my relationships have started in a ‘normal’ way. I had a phase where I loved Tinder and I hooked up with an amazing girl off there, but I can’t go back post-relationship. Being in a relationship is extremely my shit now.
Is playing hard to get a do or don’t? Do you ever play hard to get with chicas?
Don’t: I always make my intentions clear. Being direct is the best option for both parties.
Is that why dudes think it’s okay to hit on randoms on the street?
Nah, a lot of guys are literally just stupid and think it’ll work. So many dudes are horny and stupid and don’t understand.
How can girls know if they are in the ‘booty call zone’ before they get in too deep?
If a guy is only texting after 10pm, clearly you’re in the booty call zone. It’s sort of something where you find out once you’re already in it. I guess it’s possible to get out, but if he’s putting you in the booty call zone and you’re looking for a relationship, trying to change him is a lost cause.
Has a girl ever used you for sex and how did you know she was doing it?
Yes, absolutely. But it was mutually beneficial. I just knew from the fact that we only ever hung out at each other’s places. If both of your jeans come off upon arrival, it’s pretty clear.
What’s a sex position you are dying to try?
If we’re being real, I think I’ve only done like 6 of the sex positions. So all the other ones, I guess.
Why are some guys obsessed with anal?
Bahahaha, I don’t know. Actually, I don’t know any dudes off-top that are obsessed with anal. I didn’t know/think there were a lotta dudes OBSESSED with anal. Personally, I’m not trying to do anal at all. Not even remotely. Zero contact with the butthole if I’m in the bedroom.
Has a girl ever made you cry?
“New Romantics” by Taylor Swift came on my playlist while i was in a car with my friend. It made me think of my ex and that was our song. Probably cried during that relationship a couple times. I cry a lot tho, in general. Crying is effin lit.
Have you ever gone through a girl’s phone? If yes, was it a good idea or a bad one?
Nah, I’m very golden rule about that. I wouldn’t want it done to me, so I’m hands-off.
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