Why You Get Bored With Your Boo Once The Chase Is Over
Love’s a bitch.
Everybody wants everybody else, and once the dude you’re crushing on actually seems to reciprocate the feelings, you suddenly lose interest.
Sometimes it’s due to his own mistakes, like when you think a guy is God’s gift to women and then he lasts .5 seconds in bed, but a lot of times it’s nothing he did, it’s just you.
Chances are, you’re simply in love with the chase, and it’s a problem that plagues many of us — but why?
Well, if you know anything about feelings, you know relationships aren’t about what you feel in your heart, they’re about the chemicals in your brain.
In the beginning of the relationship, your brain feeds on adrenaline, explained Ken Page, a psychotherapist and author of Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy, to Greatist.
You get an adrenaline rush when you send a Snapchat and anticipate your crush’s response, and you get an adrenaline rush when you get intimate with your new boo for the first time.
Unfortunately, once you get more comfortable with each other, and your boo becomes more dependable, that adrenaline becomes pretty nonexistent. And while technically, by relationship standards, your boo’s reliability and dedication should be a good thing, your brain is bored without that adrenaline rush.
Page calls this phase the “Wave of Disinterest,” and he says it’s totally normal in most relationships after the “Honeymoon Period.”
So, how do we fix it and convince ourselves that we really do like the good guy we found instead of running back to some fuckboy who always kept us on edge?
Sadly, there’s no “quick fix.”
Page just says to ride it out, and after a few weeks you should be out of the funk and back to normal. If your partner is still feeling boring to you after that? Well, they might be nice, but they may not be right for you. Try, try, try again!