Madonna’s New Video Made Us Ask A Lot Of Questions, And Not The Good Kind

Madonna’s been taking a lot of hits these days, but you know what?  Bitch doesn’t give a f-ck.  You think she’s too old to be showing her crotch on national television?  You think it was weird and kind of gross that she stuck her tongue down Drake’s throat at Coachella?  You think her music totally sucks now?  Whatever, man.  Madonna is the original bad bitch of pop music, and hate her or love her, she deservers our utmost respect.

That being said, her music video for “Bitch I’m Madonna” is very, uh…interesting.  Here are 15 of the many, many, many questions you may ask yourself while watching the video.


1. First off, who invited those kids to Madonna’s lewd hotel room party?
2. Is anybody watching them, or was that supposed to be Madonna’s job?
3. Do you think they’re all sisters, or are they just friends who like to dress alike?
4. Why are they hanging out in the room where Madonna does a half-assed work out?
5. Slash let’s be real, what is Madonna doing working out when she has a hotel full of guests?


6. Why did Rita Ora let someone convince her that those braids were a good idea?
7. Do you think her and Chris Rock are besties now?
8. What do you think the odds are that he only agreed to be in this music video because he has a huge crush on Rita Ora and now that he’s getting divorced, he thought this could finally be his chance to ask her out?


9. When did sock puppets become an okay thing to have at an adult party, and why is this not the room where the children are hanging out?
10. How long do you think it took Madonna’s songwriters to pen this song?
11. Do you think it took them thirty minutes, or do you think they wrote it in under fifteen?

13. Do you think Miley Cyrus filmed her spot before or after she went onstage for her Adult Swim Upfronts performance?
13. What are the chances that Jay-Z made Beyonce and Kanye agree to be in the music video because of the whole Tidal thing?

14. Even if she is Madonna, isn’t it wrong come up behind somebody and force a shot of who knows what down their throat?
And last, but not least
15. Do you think anybody besides Madonna had ANY fun at the party?


Watch the full thing below and see for yourself.

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