You Can Dump Your Boo With An App Now, But Should You?

We’ve all joked about how nice it would be if we could just get somebody to dump our un-significant others for us, but until now, this dream hasn’t been much more than a Season 1 plot point on Friends.  But let’s be real, this is 2015, why have a human dump your boo when you can have an app do it for you? Ladies, behold the future in relationship termination: Binder.

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Binder (originating from the everyday “trash bin”), advertises itself as the easiest way to get rid of someone: “with one swipe we take out all the pain of chucking your other half.”  Charming.  Although, let’s be real, what more can we except from an app developed by a beer company?

Here’s how it works: you download the app and after supplying the gender, name, number and optional photograph of your intended dumpee, you get taken to a screen that asks you to select your reason for getting the f-ck out, which ranges from the blunt “it’s not me, it’s definitely you” to the slightly less tasteful “Our relationship is as patchy as your beard.”  Why add insult to injury, you feel?

After the message is sent, you get the option to share the news of your dumping with all of your friends (and probably your ex), proving that the asshole in question is actually 100% you.

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On the bright side, the app is a lot more gentle with how it actually breaks the news to you – I know because yesterday I dumped my roommate Amber with it. While I told Binder that “I don’t want you close to me, emotionally or geographically”, Binder told Amber, “Your (now) ex says they want you to have space – lots of it. In fact they want you to have ALL OF IT.” Okay, so maybe they weren’t that much gentler at all.

While most people are undoubtably going to use Binder as a joke (guilty), you know that for every prankster there’s going to be at least one asshole who actually dumps his/her boo like this.  Honestly, if Carrie got pissed about being broken up with via Post-It, on a scale of 1-10, how enraged do you think she’d be to get broken up with via an App?

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Remember ladies, just because karma is a bitch doesn’t mean you have to be one too.

 

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