Bella Hadid has joined the campaign to make lower abs great again
Unless you’re one of those people who works out every day or was genetically blessed with naturally occurring abs, what I’m about to say might drive fear into your beating heart.
Lower abs are officially back.
Now we warned you about this four months ago, but this time, it’s serious. The threat level has moved from blue to orange because lower abs aren’t just popping up on lesser red carpets and Instagram thirst traps anymore. No, this time lower abs managed to wrangle a much more high-profile appearance.
Now they’ve got their own COVER in a glossy fashion magazine.
And it’s not just anybody who’s wearing them, it’s Bella Hadid, which means pretty much everybody who’s into fashion and social media will see it and slowly but surely they’ll be brainwashed into thinking they like lower abs, they love lower abs, and they’ve got to have them.
Resistance is futile.
Behold, the beginning of the end of your life, folks.
While there are lots of great clothing trends from the 2000s, low-rise jeans, the premier showcase for lower abs, are not one of them.
Sure, they may show off those abs you’ve worked diligently to get, but they’re just not worth the hassle.
For one, lower abs are a bitch to get in the gym, and for a second and less obvious reason, sitting in low-rise jeans is a nightmare. Before you even lower your butt one fraction of an inch towards the chair, you have to stand there and hike your jeans up until you’re serving camel toe realness and then maybe, just maybe, you’ll be able to keep your butt crack from being exposed.
But more likely than not you’ll have to scooch yourself forward, rise up just a little, and hike your jeans up yet again.
In the 2000s, it wasn’t an uncommon sight to see thongs peeking out of low-rise denim. And while sometimes that’s a choice that makes your outfit stronger, sometimes it just looks like an embarrassing mistake.
And it looks like this is the future we’re creeping towards once again. It may take another year for low-rise jeans to become mainstream, but now that they’re creeping back into fashion, it’s only a matter of time.
Consider yourself warned. Again.
History does always have a way of repeating itself.