Basic Bitches Guide To Drinking Champagne For Under $50


We luuurve champagne. We could drink it every day with every meal. Mimosas for breakfast? Yes please. Throw in some strawberries and the flavor is a delicious taste of the luxury life.

Unfortunately, we developed this expensive taste without the skrilla to back it up. Wish as we may, some of us are not sufficiently breaded to guzzle bottles that are worth upwards of a hundred bucks . So here’s a guide to drinking champagne and living like you’re Audrey Hepburn without your bank account taking the hit. (If you don’t have a sugar daddy, you really really need this guide).

Under $10 (for the broke college bitches. Woot woot!)

Segura Viudas Brut Cava NV: $9. While this is technically a “sparkling white wine”, for that price you could call it Santa’s jizz and I’d still throw down a ten and sip every last drop. It’s a little citrus-y and not so bitter as classic champagne, but delicious none the less.

Also try Jaume Serra Cristalino Brut Cava ($8) if you’re brave enough to drink eight buck bubbly.

Under $20

Cava is kinda the Spanish version of champagne, but made with different grapes (the truly classy know that the only real Champagne is made in Champagne, France). These Cavas are sometimes sweeter than champs, but still go great with strawberries. Or alone. Try:

Dibon Brut Reserve Cava ($12).

Naveran Cava ($15).

Under $50

Here’s where we get into the real shit. If you are reading this guide despite having $50 to throw down on alcohol, first, I thank you. And second, these options are worth skipping dinner for 2 weeks.

Roederer Estate Brut: ($20) It’s made in Cali and frickin good. I would drink this even if I could afford the “real stuff”. Once again, this is technically sparkling wine, but very very champagne-like in that it’s aged in oak which gives it that dry, nutty taste we love.

Also try

Ayala Brut Majeur (39.99). Y’all can thank me later.

Gimme More Health

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