BAD DATES: When The Date Pretends It’s His Birthday
Have you ever been on a GOD AWFUL date and NEED to tell someone all about it? I would expect so, in these times of OK Cupid, Tinder etc there are far too many opportunities for us to mismatched it the most hilarious and terrible ways. We will be featuring anecdotes of some of the most ridiculous tales of dating. Check out below
So, about a year ago I went out with a girl I had recently become friends with. We went to the bars and met up with a few of the guys she went to college with. One of the guys ran into someone he knew at the bar including Conner- who is the awful date.
So Conner and I talked a bit, he was good looking and had a full set of teeth. He asked me out to dinner two weeks later. II had gotten a bit lost on my way to the restaurant, so I tried to call him asking if I was in the correct area but he didn’t pick up. When I finally arrived his reason for ignoring my calls is that it’s really rude to talk on the phone in restaurants. Why he couldn’t have stepped out or just texted me is beyond me, but at that point I figured whatever maybe he’s weird about that stuff.
When I sat asked him how he was, after about 5 minutes he disclosed to me that it was his birthday. Why would he chose this day to have the date? Maybe birthdays aren’t a big thing to him? He asked me what I wanted then insisted on ordering for me, he also ordered me a glass of red wine and nothing for himself. I don’t drink red wine, but I felt so awkward that I forced myself to drink it.
At the time my hair was silver, which I understand can be a bit jarring to people, so when he told me I would look better with a different hair color I tried to laugh it off. He then said “You would also look really good if you cut your hair like this” he showed me a photo of a girl on instagram. I asked him who the girl was and he told me it was his ex.
At this point I was pretty sick of him, but I didnt want to make a scene and leave so I figured I would just wait it out. I went to the bathroom to try to pass the time and when I came back he had a scoop of sorbet in front of him with a candle in it. He said he thought it was rude that he had to tell the waitress himself that it was his birthday, inferring it was my job to inform them.
At the end of the date he invited me to come back to his parents house where he lived to check out his recording studio or what he referred to over the course of our date as a “beat laboratory” or “yo”( short for studio). I declined and told him I had work in the morning.
I found out it wasn’t his birthday when my friend called one of Conner’s friends to tell him that he’d taken me out on his own birthday and his friend told us that his birthday was 3 months before which he knew because that been together at Coachella and celebrated it.
I didn’t hear from him for 3 months until I got a text that said “Don’t get sick” I replied: “wrong text?” to which he said it was meant to go to me then asked how I was and again reminded me to say healthy. That was the worst date of my life.
If you have your own story of a terrible date please send over to firstname.lastname@example.org, with the subject “BAD DATES” and state whether you’d like to be anonymous or not. We encourage women of all sexualities to submit.