Breaking News In The World of Penis Size!

Is it about the size of the boat? Or the motion in the ocean? While I think all girls can agree the ideal partner has both traits in the bedroom, we probably are also hoping for a millionaire who’s loyal, romantic, and has the jawline of a god. Another thing that girls can probably agree on is that guys seem to get a little weird when it comes to the size of their “boat.” Maybe it’s that they’ve been watching too much porn and getting self conscious, or maybe they got a little confused between the centimeter and inches side of their trust-worthy ruler. Never fear, ladies and gentlemen, because two new studies have been released to soothe your penis-length worries.

The BJU International Journal of Urology has calculated the “average” penis size by measuring 15,000 weenies around the world (damn.. that’s a lot of D). They have determined that when hard, the average male member is 5.16 inches in length and 4.5 inches in circumference. This might sound small to some of you ladies, but the sad truth is that your eyes aren’t the same as a ruler, and your past five hook-ups who bragged about their “8-incher” were all lying through their teeth.

If you’re into graphs and shit, here’s some hard-core proof for you non-believers:

Galore_Magpenis chartOne notable finding was that the researchers didn’t find any correlation between foot size and dick size (all you ladies crushing the dude that wears a size 9 can breathe a sigh of relief). The researchers also hope that these findings can assist men better in finding correctly fitting condoms (another awkward sex past-time).

These researchers also claimed that they found no correlation between ethnicity and dick-size, but admitted that most participants were of European or Middle-Eastern descent. However, another study recently hit the internet depicting a map of which countries have the largest cocks. While it does seem believable that African and Latin men are the most well-endowed, this research still seems a bit questionable (after all, it is the internet). You certainly shouldn’t shun the next Filipino guy that hits on you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be extra excited about your date with a hot Puerto Rican either.

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