Ask Tinderella: What Do I Do If Hot Brazilian Tinder Dude Is Messing With Head?

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Hi Tinderella,

How are you? Dubai Tinderella here. Before I start, let me say that I’m happy reading how it is going so far between you and The Bro. I sincerely wish you finally found The One because you sound like a really great woman. 

So here’s my story. 

Just like any other story, we had a perfect beginning. But the fairy tale was short-lived. We dated in a span of three weeks – everything happened within that timeframe. We swiped each other to the right, we exchanged numbers, we talked constantly every day, we had our amazing first date, we had an amazing second date where we made out and “almost” did it.  I thought everything was going well until he pulled away. His reason: “It’s just that there’s a lot going on at the moment and I’m not sure how I feel about getting to know someone. Things change and maybe they will sooner than I expect. We will keep in touch..”

From the day I saw my letter was published in your website and upon reading your advice (you’re a lifesaver btw!), I convinced myself that I should completely forget about him and continue with my Dubai version of your Tinderella story. Although, I have to admit, it wasn’t easy. For a couple of weeks, I kept missing him. Until one day, I woke up and decided to totally forget about him.

I was doing great for 2 months. I started dating again and haven’t thought about him for a while until I got really, really drunk last Friday night at a friend’s birthday party. I did the most ridiculous thing! I send him a message saying “Please help me forget about you” (I know! It was the most stupid thing in the world!) To be honest, I wasn’t expecting that he would send a message back. I just did it because I was soooo drunk and when you’re drunk, you tend to do stupid things. (Lame!) But after two months of complete silence between us, he sent a reply saying, “What can I do?” 

I didn’t reply anymore…But two days after that night, he sent me a message asking how I was doing and asked if he can add me on Facebook?!?

Now I wonder why he suddenly wants to add me on Facebook? I didn’t see anything wrong so I accepted his invite. But after that night, I haven’t heard a single word from him. I don’t know what his deal/game is in adding me in Facebook but I added him anyway.

What do you think? 

I guess, I’m writing because I want to be able to handle this situation well.

Best Regards,

Dubai Tinderella

Hello, Dubai Tinderella! Two months of dating and not really thinking about him is huge – go you!

I’d like to begin by assuring you that you are not alone in your regretful drunk message shame. I literally do that all the time. Helpful tip: Delete the message before you go to bed and it’s basically like it never happened (until they send you a reply the next morning saying ‘delete my number’).

My advice this time around is the same as it was before – forget this guy! He isn’t asking you out, or making any meaningful contact and he clearly does not have it together. Whatever is going on with him is clearly too big for him to handle and if it’s preventing him from dating you, that’s a sign right there that he’s not The One. All relationships encounter issues, and if you can’t communicate when things get tough, you don’t have a chance in hell of a healthy relationship.

It sounds like you were doing pretty well before your drunken slip up so I encourage you to not let this set you back to where you were two months ago.

The bottom line is that you should be pursued by a guy who wants to date you… in this instance, you are doing the chasing and that’s only going to chip away at your self-worth if he continues to reject you. Don’t give him that power – keep dating and sharing your stories with us, Miss Dubai Tinderella!

Happy Swiping!

Tinderella xx

Do you have a dating question for Tinderella? Email your questions to [email protected] with the subject ‘Dating Advice’.

www.tinderellanyc.com

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