Ask Tinderella: Our Chemistry Is Great, So Should I Chase Him?



So my questions falls out of the realm of online dating, but I love your advice and would like to hear your take on this situation.

Back in January or February, I met this amazing guy in a bar. It was one of those regular situations where I was just sitting alone, enjoying an after work happy hour beer and writing short stories about my various sexcapades (what can I say, you’ve inspired me!).

He came up to me, introduced himself, and we began chatting for a bit. It was a refreshing moment because before meeting him, every guy I’ve dated was someone I met online (and to be honest, I’m so over it). After that night, we texted for a bit, but we lost touch because our schedules conflicted too much.

Fast forward to last Thursday, I get a text message from him. We began chatting again and finally met up for round two. In my mind, it went well. We talked about music, writing, work, etc. It was a nice night enjoying the company of someone I feel like is on the same level as me. He took me home, gave me a hug, and that was it. He texted me when he got home saying something along the lines of “It was great seeing you. I’d like for it to happen again.”

We tried meeting up the next day, but by 3:00AM realized that it was too late and not going to happen. I haven’t really heard from him after that. On Sunday I texted him, we chatted for a bit while falling asleep, but that was our last interaction. Now it’s Wednesday, still haven’t heard from him, and I’m not sure what to do.

When we met up that one night, he was talking about this article he wrote comparing Drake’s and Kendrick’s new album and that he’d send it to me. That Sunday night while we were texting, we were on the topic about writing, so I remembered that article, sent him my email, and told him to email it to me. That was the last message I sent him and I haven’t heard from him since (not even an email).

In my mind, it sounds like he’s just not into it anymore (probably in some sort of on-and-off-again relationship situation), but since it’s so hard meeting a great guy like him, my stubbornness just won’t accept that I drop it (which is what I’d normally do).

What do you suggest? Drop it or should I try texting him again inviting him out? I was thinking of maybe doing a brunch or spending the day at Prospect Park.

I look forward to hearing what you have to say! Thank you! 

Let me save you a lot of anxiety and advise that you drop this guy completely. He waited months to ask you out, then set vague plans to see you again which he didn’t follow through on and now he’s gone quiet again!

He’s not worth it. This guy is going to drive you absolutely nuts – he’s one of those men who is great when you are with each other, and makes you feel like things are all hunky-dory, but then the minute you leave him you are on pins and needles waiting for him to text or call. These guys don’t change. You hope they will, but they don’t.

You are better off escaping while you still can… preserve your dignity and don’t chase him. You can drum up a million different reasons to contact him but the end result is that YOU are chasing HIM, when it should be the other way around. I know it’s a little hurtful to dwell on but just keep in mind that if a guy wants to see you again HE WILL FIND A WAY.

I have fallen for a few of these sorts of guys and the whole ride is agony until the (always bitter) end. It feels a lot better to walk away from a situation like this than it does to stick around and feel rejected.

Remember the things that you like about this guy and look for those qualities in someone who will adore you and chase you – you deserve to feel special.

I hope this helps!

Tinderella xx

Do you have a dating question for Tinderella? Email your questions to with the subject ‘Dating Advice’.

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