Ask Tinderella: Can This Last?

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Do you have a dating question for Tinderella? Email your questions to [email protected] with the subject ‘Dating Advice’

Dear Tinderella,

I love your blog! I purposely refrain from reading too often so I can be entertained for longer when I catch up with your posts.

Anyway, I’m very new to the dating world but I’ve been seeing this guy I met on Tinder (my first Tinder dude ever!) for almost 3 months now.  Originally, I was not planning to see him again after our first date (totally not my type, if I even have one) but we continued texting and I thought he was fun/funny so we just kind of went along with it.

We’ve met up multiple times since and have gotten really comfortable, to the point of Netflix. I’ve said that I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship due to a combination of where I am right now in my life and also because I don’t really think we are a good fit. He’s very understanding and I think we’re both on the same page – or within a couple pages of each other. I like hanging out with him and I find myself looking forward to it but after we hang out it kinda just fades away after a couple days until the next time we meet up again.

It basically feels like we’re a part-time couple right now and I think we’re both being careful not to cross the line into full-time mode. We get along well and there’s definitely a connection there. It’s fun and I’m enjoying it but it also feels very temporary. I’m not seeing or planning to see anyone else but maybe I should? I don’t think he is currently seeing anyone else but if he was then I’d be fine with it since we never talked about being exclusive.

I guess the question is – how long does this type of deal last? And how would it even end? Maybe I’m just doing this all wrong.

Sincerely,
Dating Newbie

Dating Newbie, you are a girl after my own heart. I LOVE that you are just having fun and not worrying too much about ‘what it all means’. Dating should be fun and you should be enjoying every step of the process, so keep doing whatever makes you happy!

With that said, you are right to worry that this type of arrangement probably can’t last forever. It’s highly likely that at some point soon, one or both of you will start to develop stronger feelings for each other, and start to want more than what you currently have. You don’t sound entirely loved up on your end so just be sure you don’t start to slide into something because it’s comfortable and easy – I’ve been there and I wouldn’t recommend it. You’ll be selling yourself short of true romance.

If this is working for you right now, then I don’t think you need to worry too much about changing it up – enjoy it while it lasts! BUT I do think that you might get a lot out of dating other people. It’s a lot of fun to see what’s out there, and you might find someone who brings the passion that the Mr Netflix situation appears to be lacking.

Happy Tindering!

Tinderella xx

And read more on her blog here.

Do you have a dating question for Tinderella? Email your questions to [email protected] with the subject ‘Dating Advice’.

www.tinderellanyc.com

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