Are You In a “Better Than Nothing” Relationship?
The phrase “better than nothing” is commonly tossed around. You have to eat bread and cheese for the third time in a row because you haven’t had time to get to the grocery store? It’s better than nothing. You didn’t get your dream job, but still scored a part-time gig that will pay your rent? Better than nothing! While appreciating what you have is never a bad strategy, there’s one area where you never want to use the deadly phrase “better than nothing:” in your relationship.
We all know that couple who seems to stay together because they’re afraid to break-up. They may cheat on each other, fight all the time, and constantly break-up to make-up, but at the end of the day they always end up back with each other. You probably mock them behind your back, but it’s easier to get into a “better than nothing” (or BTN for short) relationship than you realize, here are some signs that you might be heading downhill in your current situation:
1. You Dread The Thought Of Being Alone
Maybe you don’t even realize how afraid you are to be alone, but you are. Think back to your past relationships, have you ever broken up with someone and had another boyfriend within weeks? While your friends may be applauding you for your ability to score men so easily, you might want to take a step back and ask yourself why you’re always bouncing from relationship to relationship. Chances are, it’s because you’re not okay with being alone. However, if you like the person that you’re alone with, you’re never going to be lonely.
2. You Forget What Things Were Like Before The Relationship
Perhaps you’ve been in your relationship so long that is seems easier to just ride things out, even if they’ve gone down hill. You spend so much time with your man that you can’t even remember how you lived life without him. What did you do on weeknights when you weren’t cuddled up at his place watching Netflix? Who kept you entertained at work by texting you all day? Who did you run to after you had family drama? If you’re having thoughts like this, you’re not only depending on a man, you’ve probably slowly cut out many of your friends during your dedication to your relationship. Even if you’re not going to break-up with your boo, stop depending on him for everything because that’s a one way ticket to a messy break-up.
3. You’ve Forgotten How To Flirt
When your friends talk about their new flings, it seems foreign to you. The idea of meeting a guy at a bar and having to “take things slow” or “get to know him” sounds so tedious. You just want to find a guy you like and hop right to the relationship stage. Because you’ve been in a relationship so long, you’ve forgotten how fun the chase can be, and gotten too comfortable in your rut. Comfort is nice, but nothing ever grows out of comfort, I promise.
4. You Would Never Put Up With His Behavior From a Friend
Do you know a great way to see if you’ve got sh*t standards when it comes to men? Imagine if your best friend acted the way that your boyfriend does. If your friend told you she’d do something for you and didn’t you’d probably be annoyed. If your friend promised to show up to your art show and she bailed, you’d be pissed. However, when your man does this you find yourself making excuses. “He has a huge project at work” or “boys are just so forgetful!” If anything, you should be holding your partner to a higher standard than your friends, not the other way around.
If this sounds like you, you need to get a reality check. What’s so horrible about being alone? Is being with a guy that doesn’t treat you right really better than nothing? Chances are it isn’t. Sure, being lonely can take a toll sometimes, but being in a sub-par relationship can be equally taxing. You deserve better, better than “better than nothing.”