Amber Rose Got Pissed Off At GQ While Drake Showed Off Some Sweet Dance Moves, And Other Things That Happened This Week
Even though we’ve been counting down the days until the weekend got here since before this week even began, in the words of the most important philosopher of the 21st century, Sir Ferris Buehler, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t slow down and look around, you might miss it.” Even though I only took one philosophy class in college, I’m pretty sure I understand what he’s talking about. In that spirit, before we let this week settle into the cloudy heap of drunken nights and caffeine-fueled days better known as our memory, let’s pay honor to the week that was the 3rd full week of October.
This week started off with a bang: Star Wars: The Force Awakens dropped its first trailer, giving superfans and casual viewers their first look at what the future of life in a galaxy far far away will look like (spoiler alert: there’s lots of sand, and lots of moody music). Over the weekend, Vegas show pony Britney Spears suffered from a wardrobe malfunction, but as this video proves, a little exposed crack is nothing to a woman who routinely used to flash her vagina in public. Gwen Stefani released the studio version of her new breakup anthem, “I Used To Love You,” and even though we’re all Team Gwen, I think my boyfriend said it best when he said, maybe it’s time for her to just retire. Meanwhile, in Canada, Drake dropped his video for “Hotline Bling“, which became an instant classic, as well as the meme heard round the world.
Zooey Deschanel gives birth to a daughter, and names her Elsie Otter as a reminder that life’s not fair. Some rapper named D.R.A.M. accuses Drake of jacking his song “Cha Cha” for “Hotline Bling”, but instead of reading any of those articles, I just watched this video of Drake hitting tennis balls while dancing instead. Meanwhile, in California, Kim Kardashian and all of her friends (with the exception of Khloe who has a dying husband to tend to) celebrated her 35th birthday by donning pregnant bellies and photographing themselves. Weird.
The world freaked out because today was Back to the Future Day. People all across America spent the day discussing which of the three movies were their favorite, debating the relative merits of living in the future, and commiserating over how it’s not fair that the little girl down the street has a hoverboard and they don’t. Amber Rose got pissed off over a GQ profile that called her “Wiz Khalifa’s Baby Mama” and “Kanye’s Ex,” because duh. Meanwhile, on TV, Angela Bassett made her first appearance on FX’s troubled American Horror Story: Hotel, as an ex-Blaxpoitation film actress turned vengeful lesbian vampire. Sexy.
Olympian Gus Kenworthy, and noted friend of Miley Cyrus, came out, Sesame Street introduces its first muppet with autism, and Justin Bieber drops his new single “Sorry”, which is nowhere near half as good as his last single.
Happy weekend-ing, everybody.
Main photo curtesy of Apple Music.