9 Signs You Might Be Dickstracted
Sometimes, the heavens above decide to bless us with some really good d. After all the sloppy drunk hook-ups, the dudes who couldn’t find your lady part, and the guy who was also into guys; you finally found an awesome buddy who knows exactly how to give it to you.
Having good hook ups, however, can be a blessing and a curse. Why? Because once you start having good hook ups, you can’t stop thinking about the next time you’re going to get your O on again. It’s kind of like how when you’re eating a good meal you are already planning your next meal- except worse.
Here, my lady friends, are signs that you might be getting dickstracted:
1. You Start Forgetting Things…Everywhere
No, I don’t mean that you “accidentally” forget something at his house so that you can have an excuse to go back there. I mean literally leaving your handbag at a restaurant because you are so out of your element dreaming about doing it…
2. You Start Making Your Evening Plans Around Your Booty Call
While you would normally drink yourself into oblivion and be up for the next crazy adventure, if you are dickstracted this is not the case. You find yourself not wanting to get so drunk in order to still be coherent enough to still do it. You also find yourself turning down your girlfriend’s invites for a weekend trip….because then you won’t be able to go home to your booty call.
3. Your Day Dreams All Become X-Rated
Okay…not to say that our usual day dreams don’t revolve around boys ( because they do). But, suddenly all you can do in class is think of the last hot encounter you had with your boo… over, and over again. It gets a little tough to concentrate on bio-chemistry when you’re literally watching a scene in your head.
4. Even Something Like His Smell Sets You Off
Your friend passes you a piece of Orbit and suddenly you are transported back to his bed just because he chews the same damn gum. You go from wanting fresh breath to wanting some d in about 2 seconds.
5. You Count The Days Until You’re Getting It Again
Kids count down to Christmas, teenagers count down to their Sweet 16…and you? Well, nothing wrong with counting down the days until you’re going to get some satisfaction again, right? Just don’t set a countdown on your phone…things could get a little awkward.
6. Ordinary Objects Turn Into Ds
Do you know what kinds of foods are shaped like D’s? The best kinds!
7. You Suddenly Become a Morning Person
Your 8 am alarm clock doesn’t seem so threatening if it means you’re waking up to some morning action .
8. You Start Going Great Lengths For The D (Pun Intended)
While you used to ditch your friends when they wanted to go to a bar that was two subway rides away, you know find yourself willingly paying for a 30$ Uber to your man’s house.
9. You’re Constantly Wet
You almost freak out and think Aunt Flo has visited you early, but when you run to the bathroom to check, you realize that you must’ve been daydreaming about doing it without even realizing it. Guess going commando is not really an option until you get your libido in check…