Veggie Woes: 5 Things Meat Eaters Don’t Get About Being Vegetarian
Being a vegetarian is literally the bestest thing ever. You feel fresh to death all the time and your bank account loves you because veggies are cheaper than a steak dinner. You can also eat basically as much as you want because all your faves are low-cal. Is that guac you’re making? Hand me a spoon and I’ll eat the entire bowl.
The only thing that gets on my nerves about being a veg is ignorant meat eaters making a crap load of assumptions about my lifestyle choice. I get that if you eat meat, you prolly spend little or no time thinking about, ya know, stopping eating meat. So bacon lovers, take note. Here are 8 myths about being a vegetarian DEBUNKED.
1. All vegetarians are crazy animal rights activists.
I can see where this myth came from, but it’s simply not true. Ask yourself the reverse: do you hate all animals because you like to partake in chicken kabobs? No? Come on guys: it’s the vegans who are card-carrying members of PETA, not the plain old veggies.
2. Vegetarians are grossed out when you eat meat in front of them.
Okay y’all. We know you eat meat, you’re not hiding it. Some of us even may have had a drunk slip up or two with chocolate covered bacon, so we can kinda see the appeal. And if we were gonna be gagging every time our BF ordered pepperoni on his pizza, we would be severly limited in our romantic choices. Even though their cum tastes wack, meat eaters are just hotter than granola crunching vegan men. So order your burger, we don’t give a f***.
3. All vegeterians are anorexic?!
I haaate this question. F***ing hate it. I sweat I will maul the next dude to ask me this. People think vegetarianism is some crazy diet scheme to drop the lbs. Although it is an excellent weight loss technique, it’s more about becoming healthy than becoming unnaturally skinny. Also, you can be a fat veggie. Case in point, those six powdered donuts I ate this morning contained no meat, but were definitely upwards of a thousand calories.
4. Vegetarians can eat chicken.
Who made this one up? Is chicken a vegetable? I guess some people are “white meat vegetarians” but I prefer to call those types “people who don’t eat red meat”. If you ARE one of those types, do you boo boo, but don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re the real deal.
5. Vegetarians can’t eat eggs and cheese.
I have 3 food groups, which I have dubbed the three C’s: cheese, chocolate, and champagne. Everyone’s gotta indulge sometimes. If that means snacking on endless Dove bars, cheddar on crackers, and omlettes for every meal, that’s a vegetarian’s perogative. If you believe this, you are thinking of the aforementioned granola crunching hippie vegans, who are a dif story altogether.