8 Reasons Why I’ll Probably Marry My Middle School Sweetheart

High school sweethearts are practically unheard of these days. Romance stories are much more likely to begin with “she swiped right” or “he bought me a blowjob shot at the bar” than “he asked me to dance at prom.” If you do stay with your high school boo into college, you’re probably teased or reprimanded for being close-minded.

I haven’t talked to my high school boyfriend in over two years. Yet, my best guy friend from middle school (that I dated for all of one day in the eighth grade) is the one I still talk to all the time (and will probably still be the dude I get wifed for). Here’s why:

1. He Knows My Sexual History

Unlike when meeting a new guy, I’ll never have to worry about telling him my sex number or hiding my brief stint with dating girls in the 9th grade, because he already knows. Likewise, I know everything about the first girl that he really fell for, and would never tease him (too much) about the less than stellar chick’s he used to bang in high school.

2. We Come From The Same Background

Remember in Sweet Home Alabama when Reese Witherspoon has to choose between two sexy a** men, one being from the country and one from the city? While most of us will probably never be lucky enough to have that “hard” decision, your background can affect your relationship a lot. Growing up in or around a big city all my life, there’s no way I could move onto a farm someday (no matter how sexy a guy looks in his overalls).

3. He’s Seen Me At My Worst

“Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful” doesn’t really apply here. I might have been young when we first met, but I would hardly call my Pippy Longstocking braids and pre-pubescent acne “beautiful.”

4. He Was My First Real Heartbreak– And Helped Me Through The Next One

It sounds silly talking about heartbreak for a 13 year old, but I swear that’s when the pain is the realest. If anyone saw the collection of emo-Myspace poems I wrote about this boy in the seventh grade, I could’ve been the next Edgar Allen Poe. Years later, when I went through similar emotions (except as a big girl), he was still there for me. And naturally, I am the one who still has his ex’s number in my phone (because he deleted it from his phone).

5. We Already Have Each Other’s Sh*t

Okay…maybe I just have his sh*t. But was I really supposed to throw away the millions of sweatshirts I inherited? Or that Angels and Airwaves tee he bought me? What else would I wear on lazy Sundays?

6. We Don’t Need To Talk Everyday

I believe that the truest test of any relationship (whether friends or lovers) is the ability to go lengths of time without talking to each other, and staying equally as close. I can text this guy after a month of being overseas, and he’ll still know exactly who’s calling him from an international number when he picks up. The best part? It’ll be like we never stopped talking, we’ll pick up right where we left off.

7. We Have The Same Loving Memories

The reasons we bonded back then are the reasons that we’re still close now. While times have changed, our tastes haven’t. We’ll always be able to turn on old pop-punk songs and jam out, or drive by an old park and remember exactly what unfolded there. Not to mention, if we did get married, we’d have some great (and embarrassing) old photos of the two of us together.

8. There’s No Bullsh*t

As much as dating is the classic thing to do, it’s a bit fake. You can’t pretend that you’re going to walk into a first date and reveal all of your bad habits and worst qualities, because you’re simply not going to. When you’ve known someone for over ten years, it’s hard to hide your less than stellar personality traits (or at least what you look like without make-up).

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