8 Realistic New Years Resolutions You Should Make For Your Dating Life
Every year that goes by, you promise yourself the same bullshit. “This year is the year that I lose ten pounds,” or “this year is the year that I stop blacking out.” Every year, January turns into February, and February turns into March; and suddenly you realize you’ve made absolutely no progress. Instead of fantasizing about a thinner, richer, happier you; why don’t you switch it up this year and focus on the other special someone who may be in your life? Yeah, I’m talking about your (currently nonexistent) dating life. The dating world is changing, and it’s time for you and your habits to change along with it. If you’re still single by the time the clock strikes 12 on January 1st, I don’t think it can hurt to switch up your usual dating practices.
1. No More Drunk Sex
Let’s not pretend that drunk sex is the awesome wall-banging, orgasm inducing stuff you see in the movies. Your last bout with drunk sex included you falling asleep while a random dude from the bar ate you out, and then you waking up to hear him puking. Hot? Not exactly…Not to mention the fact that even if you did manage to have an orgasm, you wouldn’t remember.
2. Only Have Sex When You’re Begging For It
This one may need some explaining. If you’ve ever watched porn, you may know what I’m talking about. You know the moment where the girl is literally begging for the guy’s cock? I’m not saying you have to do that in real life, but you should at least have that feeling. You shouldn’t be having sex because you want to please your dude or because you “feel bad,” you should be having sex because you really fucking want to. If you need more foreplay, tell your partner. If you’re not in the mood, tell your partner. If you want to wait a couple more dates, tell your partner. If you’re the type to have sex for the wrong reasons, maybe your 2016 resolution should be to stop.
3. More/No More Dating Apps
Are you the type of girl who has Tinder, Hinge, Happn, and Bumble on her phone? Or are you the type of girl who thinks dating apps are “desperate” and “awkward?” If you’re on dating app overload and still haven’t found Mr. Right, it’s time to take a breather. You’re never going to find love if you’re looking that hard for it, not to mention that having that amount of dicks in your life is enough to make any girl crazy. Deleting all those dating apps will give you a breath of fresh air, and let you focus on yourself rather than wasting time scrolling through potential bae’s.
On the other hand, if you’re not dating much and have given up hope, maybe it’s time to download one or two dating apps. They’re not only for losers, it’s 2016. A dating app will help you move outside your social circle and meet some new people. Just make sure that part of your resolution is to download a dating app and actually meet up with someone.
4. No More Tinder
Let’s all leave Tinder in 2015, yeah? Unless you’re seriously looking for a one night stand (and can’t find one on your own), or need a confidence boost, Tinder is a bit useless. There are enough other easy-swipe dating apps (try Coffee Meets Bagel) for you to score dates with, and unless your idea of a date is “Netflix and Chill,” you’re not going to find one on Tinder.
5. Drink Limit On Dates
Every blind date is a lot less awkward with a bottle (or two) of wine. But after five mojitos, it’s kind of tough to tell if you really like the guy you’re out with. After all, you pretty much like everything after five mojitos (even that shitty $1 pizza in the East Village). Getting too drunk on a date can lead you to embarrass yourself, go further sexually with a guy than you’d like to, or simply make you look like a drunk mess. You’re not going to find love at the bottom of that Pinot Noir bottle. It’s easy to get a little too drunk on a first date (blame it on nerves), so if you keep having the same problem, set a limit on yourself.
6. No Ex Hookups
Does this really need to be explained? I hope not, but just in case, I’ll spell it out for you: HOOKING UP WITH YOUR EX IS A HORRIBLE IDEA!
7. Stop Dating To Date
We all had our “bad boy” phase, myself included. It was super fun to date the dude with dreadlocks that sold weed out of his parents basement, but there comes a certain time in your life where you have to (gasp) start dating guys that you actually see a future with. If you see a future with your current hook up that works at Domino’s Pizza, good for you. But, if you’re hoping for a white picket fence and a Mansion, you might want to think twice before agreeing to get serious with just any old dude. You’re at a pretty pivotal point in your life, and you shouldn’t be wasting time on a partner unless you can seriously see the two of you getting married someday. I know you don’t want to think about marriage right now, but if the thought of marriage with your current boo really scares you, he’s probably not the one.
8. Forget Having a Type
If you’re still single, going for the same “type” clearly hasn’t worked for you. I know, I know, you just loveeee tall drummers with brown hair and glasses. That’s great for you, but at a certain point you’re probably going to have fucked all the brunette drummers within your geographical area. Not to mention that maybe the reason things haven’t been working out is because you’re not meant to be with that “type” of guy. Try something totally different and you might be surprised just how well you click. Besides, opposites attract, and everyone needs a little bit of variety.
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