8 Men We Wish Would F*** Us in 2015
Since we were old enough to know that boys don’t have cooties, New Years Eve has been approached with speculations about who our New Years kiss will be. Well, after awkward seventh grade make-out sessions in a closet at midnight and attempting to kiss my boyfriend promptly before puking another year, I have come to terms with who my New Years kiss will be this year:
Now that I’ve gotten the infamous New Years Kiss all planned out, it’s time to focus on what’s really important: prospects for the New Year. Because, as much satisfaction as you all are going to get from a drunken make-out in a packed club while everyone around you counts down, you should really be focused on the real action that you are going to get in the New Year…
1. Harry Styles
Alright, he may be a little young for some of us… but isn’t cougar-ing all the rage now anyways? If you’ve never had a craving for a long haired musician with bad tattoos, you are lying to yourself. Besides, if he’s not any good you can always give one of his equally sexy band-mates a go. One direction? Yeah in between my legs Harry…
2. Ryan Gosling
As if we haven’t been crushing on him since we had the slightest idea of what “true love” was (Thank you, Nicholas Sparks, for the unrealistic expectations), now we are old enough to appreciate that deviously cute little smile, and that BOD.
3. Justin Bieber
Let’s just call Biebs our guilty pleasure. He may have a huge stigma surrounding him since we basically watched him grow up and, again, he’s probably younger than many of us. Regardless, he has been looking DAMN good lately. And all the gossip about him “running wild?” Well thank you, National Enquirer, but we prefer the bad boys anyways.
4. Theo James
If you needed another reason to see “Divergent,” here you go. We’re hoping his next role involves lots of shirtless-ness and a sex scene or two so we can, ya know, live vicariously through the chick he’s humping.
5. Charlie Hunnam
I’m sorry if I’m clogging this list up with bad boys… maybe we can make another list of “the guys we want to date in 2015?” Because, sorry, but if I want a good f***ing, I’m banking on Santa’s naughty list. Besides.. I bet you could have a lot of fun on that Motorcycle…
6 The Franco Brothers
Again, I may be getting a little biased here. But my threesome fantasy has still not been fulfilled, and The Franco Brothers seem like the perfect pair if you ask me..
7. Zac Efron
Thinking of Dave Franco got me thinking of how f***ing sexy Zac Efron has been looking in his new movies (he’s adorable in ‘That Awkward Moment’ and devilish in ‘Neighbors’). Zac has come a long way since his days as Troy in High School Musical, and while we heard he has developed a coke problem… he looks healthy and ready to get his sweat on to us 🙂
8. Thomas Beaudoin
This name might not ring a bell, but I bet the most recent “I can’t believe it’s not butter” commercial will. Hot guy with a beard serving you bread and butter? Yes, I saw this commercial at the gym and almost fell of the treadmill. Thankfully, due to the wonderful internet and some perserverance, I found the actor responsible for my ovaries nearly exploding. Except sorry, I’m f***ing him in 2015, not you. You can have Biebs!