7 Ways To Meet More Guys On Dating Apps
In a previous article, we discussed how everyone is using dating apps all wrong. Yes, we know it’s fun to flip through endless photos of shirtless men and clicking “yes” or “no,” but many people don’t seem to get past the first excitement of matching with someone. If you do actually start a conversation with someone, sometimes you tend to want the conversation to last forever in order to determine if you really want to meet this guy. If you do decide to meet this guy after months of “hey what’s up” chats, he’s probably going to be a let down.
Why? Because you’re building up a guy in your head based on five carefully curated photos and text message banter. The only way to really find out if you and a guy click is by meeting in person. While the digital age is great and all, it’s making it so easy for us to hide in our walk-up apartments and “date” via messaging rather than actually having to throw on some real pants and grab coffee with someone.
The one dating app that has got this right is Coffee Meets Bagel, users have to make plans (or not) within 7 days of matching, or else the chat disappears forever. Seem harsh? Maybe a little, but you’ll thank them in the end.
If you’re not using Coffee Meets Bagel, there are still plenty of ways to ensure that you’re actually meeting people through your dating apps, instead of fishing in the wi-fi enabled sea with no bait.
1. Have High Standards, Not Impossible Standards
Okay, maybe this is harsh, and I know that sometimes a guy can make up for his lack of attractiveness with a winning personality, but sexual attraction means a lot in the first stages of a relationship. Don’t swipe guys who are “okay” to you, because you’re not going to want to make the effort to meet them in the end. If you do, you’re probably going to sit through two drinks and then deflect his advances, saying there is no “chemistry” (well no sh*t, you didn’t even think he was hot in his Tinder pics). That being said, Brad Pitt isn’t looking for love on Tinder (if he is, then sorry Angelina, I’m swiping right). You can’t swipe right on one guy in every 300 and then complain you’re not getting matches. I can tell you first hand that there are plenty of sexy ass guys on dating apps. If you’re not finding any, you need to move to a new city. Also, we all know that the majority of guys look better in person than in their sh*tty candid photos (unless they’re taking selfies, then beware).
2. Make Precise Plans
If a guy is asking you to “have dinner sometime,” don’t be afraid to ask him “when?” or tell him that you’re free early next week. If you don’t solidify a date and time with a guy, you’re likely to make other plans and bail on him, or just keep avoiding the date until he stops trying. Dating is kind of like working in the beginning stages, you don’t want to make the effort and go, but once you’re there it’s actually a pretty decent time (at least, hopefully). Worst case scenario (a.k.a he’s a freak), text your girlfriend under the table and make her call you faking an emergency.
3. Don’t Fuel Meaningless Conversation
You matched with a hottie, awesome! He’s been texting you “what’s up” sporadically for the past four weeks, not awesome. If a dude keeps hitting you up with half-a** conversation, you’re perfectly entitled to stop responding. It’s a waste of your time, and probably his too. Although he’s probably secretly hoping one day you’ll take the bait and make the first move, you have your own pussy and don’t need another one.
4. Practice Makes Perfect
No date should be exactly the same, but a lot start out with the same basic questions (after all, you are trying to get to know each other). Much like an interview process, a date with a guy you’re not so interested in just means you’ll be more comfortable on future dates with guys who you are interested in. Don’t flake out on meeting a guy just because his third picture hints that he’ll never be your future husband. Chill out and enjoy some company (and maybe a free dinner), you never know where things could lead.
5. Take It Slow
It’s tempting to go on a swiping spree on Tinder and see how many matches you can get. While this may be a fun little confidence boost for you, it makes things a bit hectic if you’re actually trying to meet someone. The more messages you get, the more likely you are to avoid responding to the app altogether. If you do respond, you’re probably in a rush and not invested in the conversation because you’re in a frenzy to respond to every guy asking “how are you today?” Slow and steady wins the race. By talking to matches in smaller groups at a time, you’ll find out if the dudes are actually someone you’d want to meet in real life, rather than having empty conversations with 40 guys at a time.
6. It’s Okay To Be Paranoid
If you haven’t ever met a stranger from online before, that’s okay. Always plan to meet in a public place, rather than having him pick you up (or worse, letting him trick you into coming to his house). It’s pretty unlikely that these dudes have any worse intentions than trying to get laid, but no guy should be offended by you taking precautions. If he asks what you’re drinking via text before you get there, don’t feel weird saying he can wait until you arrive. If you want to ask to see his Facebook or Instagram to prove he’s not a catfish, that’s fine too. The minute a guy starts getting weird, the minute you can un-match him and say “Adios!”
7. Don’t Limit Your Options, But Curate Them Carefully
So you actually had an amazing time with your last date from OkCupid, awesome! However, that doesn’t mean that you should shut down your account now and start planning the wedding. Just like any new relationship, don’t get too invested too early (or risk falling flat on your face). That being said, if you keep searching for new toys to play with on Tinder even after you’ve met a good guy, you’re never going to truly find love. Serial dating is a one way ticket to loneliness, even if it can be a blast in the meantime. Too many options means you’ll never really make a decision (and men will catch on to your indecisiveness fast).
The bottom line is that dating is supposed to be fun, and apps simply help you to connect with people whom you may not ever meet otherwise. Unless you want to stay running back to your f*ck buddy neighbor or your ex, it’s nice to hang out with someone who doesn’t already know your life story and your dog’s name. You may not ever find your future husband via Happn, but you’re not going to find him watching all three seasons of Orange Is The New Black on Netflix either.