7 ways to get over your grief — from someone who just went through it

On September 28, 2017, my world was officially rocked. Like every start of the day, I had a warm meal and cold coffee to cheer my heart up while I scrolled through my e-mails and texts. While I anticipated some good news like a new job position, it was interrupted by the most unimaginable nightmare: my grandmother died.

Prior to her death, she was my last living grandmother (from my mom’s side) and someone who I was very close to. Whenever I went to visit her in Jakarta, she told me stories of her childhood, took me to her favorite fabric stores and pored over pages of runway catalogues. Apart from that, my granny taught me how to sew.

Given that I wasn’t able to see her everyday, the little moments that I spent with my grandmother taught me that the good times aren’t meant to be taken for granted.

No matter how much you want your loved one to be around you forever, you are not alone when you are struggling to cope with your loss. Here are my seven secrets I swear by.

1. Find a new hobby

Not everyone may be open to talk it out, but one of the best things to get over your grief is to develop a new hobby. If you love shopping and you want to buy one of those lace-up swimsuits for your Miami vacay, you can simply try to DIY one yourself! But if you are a foodie, you can dupe your favorite By Chloe recipes at home! Who knows if a new hobby can lead you to your calling in life?


Too broke to see a therapist? Ring up your homie or your mom! It’s free, therapeutic AND better than a Xanax. Honestly, it’s so easy to withdraw from your galpals when you’re grieving, but you must never forget who will have your back at the end of the day. There is never a day when you get too lazy to text or call. Just pick up the damn phone, sis!

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3. Go on a weekend getaway

Throughout the entire week I was in Jakarta, I felt so drained after visiting my grandma at the hospital and attending my grandma’s funeral. Emotionally, I couldn’t cope with being in the city where I lost her. If you are still reeling on the loss of your loved one, don’t let the sentiments sink in too much. Instead of staying in your city, try booking a ticket to a fun weekend getaway! Whether it be Upstate or Central Cali, you will have the best time of your life to recover. Believe me, nothing felt better than to get away from the mundane-ness of grief.

4. Work on your fitness

To quote Fergie, get yourself working at the gym and train your body to be *this* vicious. Self-motivation can easily crumble when you’re crying, but always remind yourself that YOU have a reason to be in the best shape of your life. (No, it ain’t for the new guy you wanna chase after!) If you are living in a dorm, try popping in some fitness videos or crash at your friend’s place to use her pool!

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5. Join an extracurricular

To all my babes who are still in college, joining an extracurricular is a must MUST! I don’t wanna sound like your mom, but PLEASE join one or two before you graduate. Given that grief can cause you to question yourself, seeking support outside your friend group will do you wonders. Not only can you make new friends, you can find the right people who can guide you to into being a better version of yourself! (Which is something that your deceased loved one wants for you!!) Who knows what destiny can bring? If an org is still looking for new members, sign up those papers!

6. Treat yourself!

No day is better than going to a spa. Whether it be a chill af massage, fleeky mani-pedi, flawless facial or an intense cupping session, treating yourself is ultimate command to taking care of yourself. I mean, who wants to spend their day with a box of Kleenex 24/7? If you feel too lazy to drive or walk to your local spa, you can always slap on a sheet mask or paint your nails while you watch Riverdale! Ta-ta-ta!! You’ll walk out looking like the filter you always dreamed of — no VSCO cam or Kirakira+ app needed.

7. Adopt a pet!

Animals are always going to be greater than us. (‘Nuff said.)


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