6 Wardrobe Items That Confuse The Sh*t Out Of Your Man
In case you haven’t figured it out by now, boys are kind of idiots, especially when they’re thinking with their dicks. There are plenty of things that can awkwardly ruin a hook-up (or at least stall it), and sometimes it’s just not your fault.
Why do boys like when they show up and you’re already naked (with or without stilettos to complete the look)? Because you’ve just saved them the trouble of attempting to undress you. The more fashion-savvy you are, the more your dude probably struggles to undress you. Here are some items in our closet that our partner’s just can’t seem to get us out of.
1. Sticky Boobs
If you foresee sex in your future, it might be better to just go braless. Imagine taking off a dude’s pants and seeing a skin-colored plastic form over his cock? That’s certainly what a guy probably feels like when he finally gets your top off and is confronted with chicken-cutlets. Should he rip them off of you and throw them across the room? Should he lovingly take them off and set them aside to preserve the stickiness? Should he look away and let you handle them? Only God knows.
Oh, the poor look on a man’s face when he gets your pants off and realizes that instead of wearing a lacy g-string, you’re wearing a full leotard that reminds him of his little sister’s ballet uniform. What if you want him to play with your tits and don’t want to let him go “down there?” Then you’re left with an awkward half-worn leotard (which probably involves some not so sexy granny-panties). Maybe your backless uni-tard was sexier at the club than in the bedroom after all.
Guys hate rompers. And guess what? We obviously don’t care. The easy, playful, stylish comfort that a romper brings is completely worth having to completely strip down in the bathroom in order to pee. Not to mention the adorably confused look on a guys face when he realizes that you’re not wearing a dress, and he has no clue how to take it off.
4. Front Closing Bras
You’d think this would be a game-changer for guys, but they have been so programmed to take off bras from the back that they can’t seem to tackle bras that clasp any other way. Even if a guy didn’t practice taking bras off of a teddy bear like your favorite sitcom stars, I’m sure he’s still had some boobie-freeing-anxiety. Do your dude a favor and direct his hands to the front next time.
5. Garter Belts
Sexy in theory, awkward in reality. Garter belts take long enough to put on, and they’re not much easier to take off (at least not without tearing your pantyhose). On top of that, it’s pretty tricky to keep your garter belt on if you want to take your panties off. Maybe send your sweetie a picture of you in your garter belt, but take it off before you go over to his place.
6. Lace Up Shoes
If your gentleman decides to go all Cinderella on your a** and take off your shoes as well (bonus points), he may get a little frazzled when he is confronted with your thigh-high lace up gladiators. Does he really have to unlace each grommet all the way up? Little does he know, there is an easy zipper in the back…However, you can have fun watching him figure it out.