6 Things You Wish He Sent Instead Of That D Pic

We’ve all been victims of it. It’s not the monster hiding under your bed, or the boogeyman trapped in your closet. It comes when you least expect it, guising as something you might actually get excited for. It’s the D pic, and we’ve all had our fair share of unprecedented peen photos flooding our inboxes.

If dudes haven’t realized yet (which they clearly haven’t), we don’t really like pictures of your balls that much, really. Yet, no matter how much we try to emphasize this to proud dudes, they don’t seem to get the memo.

Don’t worry girls, I’ve crafted a list to send to your attacker the next time you open your phone to a one-eyed-monster staring back at you. Here are the things we wish he sent instead of that pic:

Victorias_Secret_Sext_Galore

If only boys did stuff like this when they were DTF instead of calling us 15 times at 3 AM and sending us snapchat videos of them jacking off. Sh*t, even if the dude was a typical guy and forgot your bra size, you could still exchange that sh*t.

Fitness_Instagram_Sext

We really don’t need “thin-spiration” especially coming from a dude. If he’s looking at a female Instagram, it better be ours or Hilary Clinton’s…no half-naked chicks allowed.

Grammar_Sext_Galore

It’s no secret that us girls love a sweet talker. But a sweet talker can turn pretty sour when instead of saying “You’re way too hot,” he says “your way 2 hawt.”

Credit_Card_Sext_Galore

I hope I can see all the numbers too honey, because I’m about to go on a huge mother-f*cking shopping spree. Can a picture of your D buy me new Louboutins and a shopping spree at Nastygal? I don’t think so…

All_of_Me_Galore

What chick doesn’t like to get serenaded? And in case your voice sucks (which it probably does) we can at least get a good laugh out of it (and play it on speaker for all of our girl friends).

Harry_Potter_Sext_Galore

I mean… I guess if you really want to.

 

 

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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