6 Reasons Why You Should Never Sleep With Your Ex
So, you broke up.
Things weren’t working out. You’re both so busy, you don’t want the same things, you can’t trust him…whatever. But, the sex was always pretty awesome, right? So why can’t you two just go back to a simpler time when all you wanted from each other was a good orgasm?
Guys may be idiots when it come to most things, but there is one area that they tend to be pretty great at: manipulation. This especially holds true when the guy once held a place in your heart (even more so if he still does). It’s easy for your ex boo to convince you that staying fuck-buddies after your break-up is an excellent idea.
At first glance, it doesn’t seem like a bad idea, does it? You already know that the sex is good because you’re comfortable around him, and you won’t have to find some rebound who probably has a tiny dick. However, in reality this is the absolute worst situation. You’re never going to get over your ex if you’re still sleeping with him, and even if you think you’re over him, you’re going to end up right back under him (literally). Not to mention that if you’re not “together” anymore, you’re going to have to deal with him sleeping with other girls, not wanting you to stay over as much, etc. In summary, you’re basically downgrading from girlfriend to clingy bootycall, and that should be reason enough. But if it’s not, we have some more reasons for you:
1. You Are Holding Yourself Back
First off, you’re holding yourself back from meeting another guy who could be the right guy for you (since your ex clearly wasn’t). But, it’s not just another guy that you’re holding yourself back from. You’re also holding yourself back from being independent. You’ve just become single, and by going back to your ex (even if it’s solely for sex) you’re proving that you can’t get by being single. And if you can’t be happy alone, you’re never going to be happy in a relationship.
2. Sex Without Emotions Doesn’t Actually Exist
It would be really lovely if we could hit the “off” switch on our emotions before sleeping with our ex, right? Unfortunately, we can’t. As much as you tell yourself that it’s just sex, that you’re horny, and that no emotions are involved, there will always be some emotion involved. Maybe it won’t feel like there is, but one day he’s not going to answer your booty call, or you’re going to see him go home with another girl, and it’s going to hurt. The break up probably hurt enough the first time, why do you need to go through more pain over the same guy?
3. Where is Your Pride?
No offense, but do you have any self worth? You can’t expect every guy to bend over backwards for you, but he should at least treat you right. Why do you make an exception for your ex? By ending the relationship but still wanting sex, he’s basically saying that he doesn’t want to take you on dates, show you off, or be committed to you, but he still wants you to suck his dick. Do you realize how shitty that sounds? We’re all horny, but I promise you that you can find another dick that treats you right. Don’t settle for your ex…there are bigger and better dicks out there who actually know what they want.
4. You’ll Get Stuck In An Endless Cycle
To move toward your future goals, you need to move forward, not backwards. By reverting back to the guy who you’ve already been with, nothing is going to change. You’re going to stay in the same place, with the same (loser) guy, doing the same things. Even though you won’t technically be together, you’re still going to feel attached because at one point you were together. You won’t feel the need to meet new people or try new things, because you’re still going to be hung up on your ex and the things you used to do together.
5. Your Friends Are All Judging You
Your friends may be too nice to say anything, or they might be brutally honest and ask you WTF you are doing. Either way, they’re probably still talking shit behind your back. Every night you go over to your exes place, your friends are shaking their heads wondering when you’re ever going to learn. Eventually, they’re just going to stop trying to knock some sense into you, and when he breaks your heart (again) they might not be so sympathetic.
6. You’re Being a Tool
Maybe at this point in your life, no strings attached sex is all that you want, but deep down you want someone who cares about you for more than just your pussy. Your ex clearly doesn’t want to date you, so you’re allowing yourself to simply be his fuck toy until he finds someone new to replace you. Instead of catering to someone who clearly doesn’t care about you, why don’t you cater to yourself and go get what you want?
Photo courtesy of Elle