6 Products You Need in Your Purse in Case of One Night Stands

Somehow whenever you plan on getting laid, you end up home with a huge box of pepperoni pizza.

But if you don’t expect to sleep out, you end up at a stranger’s place with no jacket or cash.

Because of this, it would be insane to try and keep a hairbrush, toothbrush, and full makeup bag in your purse at all times just in case the horn strikes.

But still, if you’re trying to own that stride of pride (and you should), you might want to at least brush your hair first. Here are six compact goodies you can pack into your purse without taking up too much space, so you can really say (half-truthfully), “I woke up like this.”

1. Burt’s Bees Facial Towelettes

Burt’s Bees

In a perfect world, you would wake up with a full face of last night’s makeup with whatever guy who was lucky enough to lure you into his bed sighing, “Wow, she looks just like she did last night.”

In the real world, last night’s makeup rarely ages well and you might wake up with the face of a circus clown’s awkward cousin. Your contour resembles abstract art, your mascara is streaked down your face, and half of your lipstick is on your cheek while the other half is on your man’s nether regions.

Even if you miraculously wake up with most of your face on, you probably still need to blot at the mascara that’s smeared under your eyes, and these Burt’s Bees towelettes are perfect for that.

As for the bronzer that’s now stained Mr. Last Night’s white pillowcase? Oops.

2. Sephora Mini Tidy Detangling Comb

Sephora

If you’re one of those girls who somehow wakes up with perfectly tousled bedhead, skip this one.

But if you’re like the other 99% of the female population, your hair probably resembles a mix between Jimmy Neutron and a poodle post-sex. Do yourself a favor and sneak a small comb into your purse’s side pocket so that you can tame your mane before your walk of shame.

3. Batiste Dry Shampoo

Urban Outfitters

Sleeping on greasy dude sheets probably didn’t help your morning hair. Luckily, most drugstores sell travel-size bottles of dry shampoo that are small enough to fit in your purse.

Spray that shit on your scalp and you’re banging enough to go straight to brunch from your one night stand’s house.

4. Black Hair Ties

Scunci

Where all else fails, the messy bun prevails.

Unless you’ve hooked up with a girl or a dude with a man-bun, you’re probably going to need to BYOHT (bring your own hair tie). Why black? Because then they don’t mess up your look by hanging on your wrist all night long.

5. Visine

Visine

Your brother uses Visine to hide his stoner habits from your parents, but you can use Visine to hide the fact that you were out clubbing until 4 a.m. and are now headed to the office.

And even those of us who are too responsible to go clubbing on a weeknight can’t resist staying up all night doing… other things, right? Pop some drops in your eye to combat red, dreary eyes all day.

6. Listerine Paper Mints

listerine_paper_mints_galore

Listerine

Morning breath is an epidemic with no cure. Even if you’re not subject to chronically bad breath, you may be a whiskey-breathing dragon in the morning.

So do everyone a favor and even if you’re not engaging in morning sex, pop a breath strip in for yourself, because if you burp up another gin and tonic you might vomit on the subway.

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