6 Vaca Destinations That Are Crawling With Celebs

Celebrities can afford to go pretty much anywhere on vacation, and yet for the most part each and every celebrity vacation ends up happening in these same six cliché spots: Ibiza, St. Barths, Turks and Caicos, St. Tropez, Cabo San Lucas, and Aspen.

To make matters even more cliché, each cliché celebrity vacation spot has its own vacation cliché that it’s great at fulfilling.

Some are great for getting black out drunk, some are great for bragging about how happy you are, and some are great for getting it on.

Allow us to explain.

1. Ibiza

Ibiza is a small island in the Mediterranean Sea, otherwise known as that place celebrities like to go to get blackout drunk and forget about being role models. Unless you’re Paris Hilton, and then it’s just a place you call home.

Over the years, pretty much every single one of Hollywood’s partiers has made the pilgrimage to Ibiza including Kate Moss, Leonardo DiCaprio, Lindsay Lohan, Justin Bieber, and the biggest party girl of them all, Kim Kardashian.

And even though I’ve never spoken to any of these celebrities personally, I can assure you that each and every one of them LOVES Ibiza, because literally everybody who’s been to Ibiza loves Ibiza. In fact, the only thing people who’ve been to Ibiza love more about going to Ibiza is talking about Ibiza.

Fun fact: did you know you can actually measure the strength of their love by the way they pronounce the word Ibiza? If they say it with a “z” sound, they just loved it, but if they say it with a “th” sound then run for the hills because your friend will literally never stop talking about Ibiza until the day they die or get dementia.

They may also behave like this the next time they actually go to Ibiza.

Bon voyage Mo Fo’s wish me luck surviving IBiza

A video posted by Michelle Rodriguez (@mrodofficial) on

Calm down, people. You can literally get blackout drunk everywhere. You don’t have to go to a Mediterranean Island, just any bar, anytime, anywhere.

2. St. Barts

St. Barts is a small French-speaking Caribbean island known for its white-sand beaches, its yacht-filled harbor, and its horny celebrities. And like Ibiza, it acquires and extra “th” if you’re extra fancy, because you can also spell it St. Barths.

For example, when Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner wanted to get away from it all and bask in the warmth of each other’s arms during their short-lived, and not possibly fake at all romance this year, they went to St. Barts.

When Beyoncé wanted to get some alone time with Jay-Z and forget about being a mom for a while, she went to St. Barts.

I could keep going, but I’ll spare you.

3. Turks and Caicos

Turks and Caicos is a collection of 40 low-lying coral islands in the Atlantic Ocean, just south of the Bahamas, where teenage boys and girls and middle-aged couples can go to make sure the rest of the world knows what a great time they’re having.

Last year, Justin Bieber spent his New Years in Turks and Caicos getting up close and personal with a hot, older supermodel, his future ex-girlfriend Hailey Baldwin, and a bunch of young, unidentified hotties who like to call him daddy.

This year, Kylie Jenner took Tyga, Kendall, Bella Hadid and a personal photographer to make sure that each and every blissful moment was captured on film.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have also been known to spend some time in Turks and Caicos, including that time they went over Christmas and nobody could stop talking about how they probably got married down there.

They didn’t, of course, but that didn’t stop people from speculating how happy they must be together.

Nothing humble happens in Turks and Caicos, believe me.

4. St. Tropez

Saint Tropez is a lovely coastal town on the French Riviera where yachts and the celebrities who know people who own them flock to like flies on a hot summer’s day.

Really, who hasn’t been to Saint Tropez?

Kate Moss has. Leonardo DiCaprio has. Naomi Campbell has — and so have Rihanna, Beyoncé, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lady Gaga, and even Avril Lavigne has been known to darken Saint-Tropez’s coast, in search of a wandering skater boi who’s been told, “see you later boi,” one too many times.

Speaking French is not a must for this celebrity vacation destination, but you do have to be willing to make small talk with other vacationing rich folk while you pretend to be bored with literally everything that’s going on around you.

5. Cabo San Lucas

AKA Cabo.

We all know Cabo.

Cabo is where underage teenagers use their parents money to get blackout drunk with their friends before college, and believe it or not, of age celebrities think it’s pretty fun too.

Only they tend to go to Cabo to show off their super hot bikini bodies.  

Case in point: Paris Hilton, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston, Demi Moore, and Lady Gaga

If you don’t already love yourself, don’t go here. It won’t help.

6. Aspen

Aspen is a ski resort town where rich people like to walk around and feel rich, maybe even richer than they already are.

Celebrities like Paris Hilton, Orlando Bloom, Katy Perry, Gigi Hadid and Mariah Carey LOVE to stop whatever they’re doing, throw on a fur-lined down vest and maybe, if they’re feeling really brave, they’ll even hop take a ride down the mountain to find the perfect spot to take a selfie. In fact, if the spot is really that perfect, they may even strip down to a golden swimsuit because YOLO.

As Paris Hilton herself says, Aspen is always a good idea.

Unless you have no money, then it’s a sad idea.

Not that Paris Hilton would know anything about what that’s like.

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