5 Things Straight Guys Think About Gay Guys (And Why They’re Wrong)
No matter where I live, what I do, or how old I am, I’ve always had a best friend that is gay.
No, I’m not one of those chicks that’s begging for a gay BFF to do her hair and makeup and go shopping with (although I have had guy friends do all of the above), I just get along well with dudes who like dick.
After spending the past three months living with my best friend Todd, who loves dick as much as I do, I realized that straight dudes still get weirded out by gay guys. My booty calls would ask if Todd was home before coming over, wonder if he could hear us having sex, and even joke about going to say “hi” to him shirtless post-sex.
I can’t lie, after what I’ve seen from straight guys, it almost seems like they wish they were more like gay guys. After all, gay guys likely have more sex, better relationships, and don’t have to worry about saying “no homo” before acts of endearment…
1. Does he think I’m hot?
Well…are you hot? Sure, maybe he does. Does he know you’re straight? Then he’s probably not even paying attention to you. Don’t flatter yourself, honey. He’s busy chatting up 10s on Grindr.
2. Is he going to hit on me?
As previously stated, if he knows that you’re straight, he isn’t going to try with you. Gay guys aren’t wild animals that are going to try to hump anything that is visually pleasing to them (unfortunately I can’t say the same thing about straight guys).
3. Does he, like, have butt sex?
Do you, like, have vaginal sex?
In fact, you probably have butt sex too. And the gays are probably doing it way better than you are.
4. Has he ever been with a girl?
Why? Are you worried he’s going to steal your chick because his style is 100x better than yours? Maybe you’re worried because your girlfriend likes him better than she likes you.
5. Oh my god…is that dude wearing make-up?
Oh sweetie, if you weren’t so worried about being “manly” you would wear make-up too. That acne covered chin of yours isn’t going to get you laid anytime soon (and neither is your homo-phobic attitude).