5 Signs You Shouldn’t Try To Date Your Friend With Benefits
Girls and casual hookups.
While you probably aren’t batting an eyelash at those two things put together, the conjunction of the two is still a somewhat new concept. Why? Not all girls can handle casual hookups.
I’m not making generalizations, or gender-stereotyping, there is evidence that it’s literally embedded in our genetics. It’s harder for us girls to detach a male organ from a personality. It doesn’t always feel right to give our body to someone when we know there’s no future between us.
Given these characteristics that us females must suffer, it only makes sense that when we attempt to have a “friend with benefit” type situation with someone, it’s bound to fail. Naturally, us girls aren’t quitters. So even if one hook-up buddy goes haywire, we’re on to searching for the next guy to take us home and buy us pizza.
It’s natural for you to wonder about what would happen if you and your booty call became something more. Maybe after months of hooking up he’ll realize that he likes you for more than your perfectly sculpted backside and blowjobs. Maybe once you two graduate college and start settling down he’ll be ready for a relationship with you. Maybe after he stops hanging out with his douchebag fraternity brothers you could actually enjoy his personality instead of his dirty talk.
Hell, maybe this will happen someday. But, maybe it won’t. There’s no use trying to force something that isn’t going to happen (unless it’s you trying to reach a fourth orgasm during sex). Here are some tell tale signs that you and your current boy toy are simply sexually compatible, but not much else.
1. Your Conversations Always Revolve Around Sex
Some people will say that if he actually texts you during daylight hours, he must like you. I beg to differ on this statement. Since when are guys only horny late at night or when they’re drunk? If a guy knew that he could hook up with you at 2 pm on a Tuesday and you would say yes, he would. The real differentiating factor is if you two can hold a conversation that doesn’t revolve around sex. I’m sure you can handle the “hey what’s up?” small talk, but it’s more than likely that his answer to that may very well be “my cock, that’s what’s up.” It’s cool to be talking about hooking up all the time, you two probably have some great chemistry and raging hormones, but if that’s all you two can ever talk about, he’s never going to be able to fulfill more than your physical needs.
2. He Doesn’t Mind You Talking To Other Guys
Girls get a bad rep for being jealous, but guys are equally guilty. I know each and every one of you girls have had a “best guy friend” that would talk sh*t on every guy you hooked up with. Why? Most of the time it’s likely that he’s jealous. If a guy is your friend with benefits and not much else, you probably don’t want him getting jealous or possessive. He should know that all he’s giving you is a hook up, and eventually you’re going to want a bit more than that. If a guy suddenly starts to worry about other guys you’re talking to, he’s either way too possessive, or he wants you to himself. If he doesn’t care about you, he won’t care that you’re talking to other guys (as long as you’re still going home with him).
3. Your Friends Don’t Know About Him
It’s nearly impossible to hide from your best girl friends the dude you’re crushing on. Even if you don’t openly tell them, you probably start finding ways to name-drop him in casual conversation. However, if you tell your friend you had a wild night with Ben and she asks “which one?” you can bet your a** that neither one of those Bens mean anything to you. If you don’t find yourself needed to gush on every single detail of your time together, you probably aren’t ever going to.
4. You’ve Never Considered Eliminating Other Options
Sure, doing it might be mind-blowing, but you know that (unfortunately) there’s more to life than hooking up. While you see your girlfriends blowing off eligible bachelors for their booty call, you think they’re stupid. Why? Because life is all about balance. You don’t feel the need to spend all your time worrying about one dude, because he’s not doing anything for you besides laying it down.
5. You Use The “If, But” Rule
When your naive girlfriends ask if you and your dude have gotten serious yet, you always say no. When they ask you why, you find yourself saying “I would be into him if he was a little more mature” or “things might be more serious one day, but right now I could never see myself dating him.” No…just no. You can’t change (or worse, fix) a person. Don’t feel the need to justify the fact that you’re never going to want to date your hook up to your girlfriends. If your friends want to be naive and think that every boy who makes out with you is your future husband, let them, just hope they don’t take it too hard when you kick him to the curb.