4 Things You Need To Do To Spice Up This Thanksgiving

In the last article, we advised you on what to do at Thanksgiving to make sure it stayed civil and familial. Today, we would like to give you a tutorial on what NOT to do at Thanksgiving… or alternatively, what to do at Thanksgiving if you want to make things interesting. Consider this your bad gal Thanksgiving lesson plan. Happy eating.

1. Get drunk on the Champagne: This year my father bought two bottles of wine for dinner time. There will be six of us in attendance and one of us doesn’t drink. One of us also drinks rather heavily. Can you guess which one that is? Thanksgiving is a long day, and two bottles of wine is quite tempting. Plus, conversation flows a bit more easily if you keep the liquor flowing. Don’t do this if you don’t want a lecture from your parents the morning after.
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2. Smoke before eating: The Thanksgiving feast is a stoner’s wet dream! Wolfing down that much food, followed by seconds, followed by two slices of pie is no easy feat… if you are sober. When you are under the influence, every bite feels like your first. Don’t do this if you don’t want to risk something being confiscated.
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3. Wear what you want: The family is going to want you to look demure and lady like but darling, if you are reading this article, that is probably not you. Those ripped fishnet stockings would look absolutely divine with your sheer red mini dress, and be quite the topic of discussion at the dinner table. Don’t… actually, we can’t bring ourselves to tell you not to!4
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4. Hook up after hours: If you are bringing your significant other to the dinner table, the tension is bound to be a bit difficult with all of that champagne, sweet potato pie and endless boredom! Thankfully, your elders are bound to be a bit tired after the second helping of turkey. A soft rug, a blazing fire, you are all smart kittens! Don’t do this if you don’t want to risk being walked in on. Then again, you are all bad gals here, maybe you just don’t care!
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