4 Reasons Why First Dates (Almost) ALWAYS Suck
If you’re 20-something years old, you probably bitch about the fact that nobody goes on dates anymore. But if you’ve had the “pleasure” of going on a date, you’ve probably realized it’s not the best way to find your Prince Charming. Here’s why…
1. It’s Basically a Really Long Interview
Do you enjoy going on job interviews? Dressing in some conservative shift dress you’ve never worn in your life, answering bullsh*t questions with a fake smile, and acting like you never got that felony charge for underage drinking? Yeah… a first date is kind of like that. Asking and answering stupid questions about your family, your job, and where you went to school. Trying your best not to make a sexual joke for fear that he’ll think your easy or skanky. And desperately avoiding any mention of your ex-boyfriend. Yeah…it’s not fun. Just like the way you have to go through a shitty interview to get to a (hopefully) good job one day, you have to go through an awkward a** first date in attempts to hopefully find love.
2. You Can Never Get What You Really Want
You probably think I’m talking about sex. While this is true too, you probably feel like you can’t get the orgasm you need on a first date for fear of a guy dismissing you as a one-night-stand, that’s not what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about food.
You can never really order what you want on a date. Whether it’s that third glass of wine, or that tiramisu for dessert, it’s hard to indulge when a random guy who desperately wants to bang you is paying. Once on a date, the dude jokingly asked me if I wanted the chicken and waffles, if only he knew that’s what I 100% would have ordered if I was out with my friends. Instead, I refrained and ordered some lame a** salad.
3. You Never Know Where It’s Going
Trying to read guys is hard enough, and that’s when it’s guys you know (or at least know through a mutual friend). What about when it is a completely random guy that you’re meeting for the first time? It’s impossible to know whether he’s searching for a quick f*ck or a future wife. Regardless of what he’s thinking, you don’t even know what you want. It’s nearly impossible to decide if you really like someone after one date. Sure, maybe you know if you want to f*ck them, but that doesn’t really mean sh*t. After all, you’ve probably found yourself into a guy that you weren’t initially attracted to. So if you’re not immediately attracted to your date, do you go out with him again and give it another shot? Do you immediately cut all ties and stop leading him on? Who the f*ck knows…
4. It’s The Worst Goodbye You’ll Ever Have
Remember having to say goodbye to your summer love come September? Or when you had to separate from your mom when you went off to college? Yes, it was tragic and horrible, but saying goodbye after a first date is worse. Not because it’s sad, because it’s awkward— as f*ck. Do you give a big hug? Or a side-hug? How about a kiss? Do you take his lead? What if you don’t want to kiss him? Do you give him a side-cheek move? Do you respond to his text post-date saying you had a good time? Do you just stop answering him until he gets the hint? Yeah… I could go on and on with these questions because they are endless! So I’m just going to stop now and let you sit in your bed over-thinking by yourself.