4 Reasons Why Social Media Will Ruin Your Dating Life
Social media may not be a living, breathing person, but the way that some people worship it, it may as well be. Whether you prefer Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, the approval we seek from social media is almost paramount to the approval we seek from a lover or a parent. But social media is not a loving parent, or an adoring lover, it’s not even a pleasant acquaintance. In fact, there’s evidence pointing to social media as a malevolent being, and we’ve come to the conclusion that social media is definitely a f*ck boy.
1. It Brings Up All The Guys Who Ghosted You
Sign into Facebook and check out your “people you may know,” I dare you. Maybe you see one of your hall-mates, or one of your co-workers, but chances are there is at least one guy you’ve gone out with. In fact, I think there was a point in my life where every single guy on my “people you may know” list was a guy I had made-out with. There was another point where Facebook started suggesting guys that I had matched with on various dating apps. How does Facebook know that I know these people when I hardly know their last names? I honestly couldn’t tell you. But what I can tell you is that the last thing a girl wants to see while innocently scrolling through Facebook is a picture of the guy who she black-out made out with last month on St. Patricks Day. As if fuck-boys didn’t manage to come out of the woodwork every time cuffing season comes around, we now have Facebook to do half the work for them.
2. It Tempts You With Your Vice of Choice
My friend Sam, who recently came out as bi-sexual, has always been a lover of selfies and all things Instagram. Yet, he noted that ever since he came out as bi, he’s been seeing endless amounts of shirtless men on his “discover” page on Instagram. Was Instagram aware of his sexual preference before he was? Did it somehow sync to his Grindr app? We’re not quite sure, but the fact that it suddenly knew that he wanted to see six packs on his timeline was a bit uncanny.
3. Everyone Knows Who You’re Stalking
Facebook is so smart that it brings up your most recently searched person in your search bar as well as all over your newsfeed. Not to mention that Twitter randomly decides to notify you when certain people you follow favorite or retweet random things. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing as long as nobody else is logged into your Facebook. However, it becomes a bad thing when that guy you stalked all the time suddenly becomes the guy you never want to see again. It can be tough to get over someone when you’re constantly forced to see their newly tagged party pics or their constant statuses about their “sick” vacation. That’s why we recommend un-friending, unfollowing, or trying out Facebook’s new “ex-blocker” when dealing with the one who got away.
4. It Reminds You How Single You Are
If you’ve ever been in a Facebook official relationship, you probably never want to do it again. After all, breaking up is hard enough without all of your Facebook friends wondering what’s wrong. However, as long as you’re single, you can’t even try to hide it from the creeps on social media. After all, they know you’re single from your relationship status, technically. And even if you’re “talking to someone,” your old school relatives on Facebook are probably going to assume you’re single as hell unless you officially define your relationship on Facebook. When it comes to Instagram, you might as well avoid checking your feed on all semi-romantic holidays, because all you’re going to see is couples. On NYE, your feed was filled with sequin clad girls kissing their lovers, and with Valentine’s Day coming up it’s only going to get worse. Can they invent alternate versions of social media for single people?
Artwork via Daniel Garcia