30 Thoughts I Had While Showering This Morning

This is what I thought about during my shower this morning:

1. When the fuck did that stretch mark get there?

2. How come that guy never messaged me back on Tinder?

3. Guys never actually call girls anymore…that’s weird.

4. Am I cursed?

5. What’s the point of shaving my legs right now?

6. Why do I think in emojis?

7. Does everyone else think in emojis?

8. I wonder what my friends look like when they have sex.

9. No I don’t.

10. What do my guy friends look like when THEY have sex?

11. What is that Tinder guy that never messaged me back doing tonight?

12. I’d be so pissed if I went on a date with a guy and he called an uberPOOL.

13, I should just dye my hair pink.

14. Would people take me seriously if my hair wasn’t colored?

15. That doesn’t make me any less professional or intelligent than them!

16. I don’t even care.

17. What does Kim Kardashian West do about stretch marks?

18. Does Kim do yoga?

19. What shampoo does Kim use?!

20. Does Kim shower everyday?

21. I’d probably be so hot if I did yoga everyday.

22. Fuck that.

23, I should have my own show.

24. Everyone would just hate me though.

25. I should call my mom…and sister…and dad.

26. I love my mom…and sister…and dad…and best friend.

27. What happened to Sean Paul?

28. I need a spray tan.

29. Life is so hard.

30. Why cant we text in the shower?

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